


The Order of Everything

by Letummordre



Series: Orderverse [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben/Kylo Ren is an actor, Drowning, F/F, F/M, Henry the Roommate, Hux is a lawyer, Hux is a workoholic, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Related, M/M, Minor Character Death, Past Violence, References to Depression, References to Drugs, Rey and Hux have a great work relationship, Survivor Guilt, Texting, both of them are pretty messed up, past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-06-18
Packaged: 2018-05-19 12:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5967253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Letummordre/pseuds/Letummordre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"For me, it would always be about love." </p><p>Based off of the Kylux Modern AU || Romantic Comedy Trailer by Marblenarwhal on Tumblr. </p><p>Ben Solo (stage name Kylo Ren) is a drama school dropout who happens to land the main lead in Hux's flatmate's screen play. Hux is a workoholic lawyer who is captivated by him, and goes backstage to meet him. Everyone else kind of got swept in along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly, this is the entire inspiration for this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_SeSj3m_i0  
> Second, this does veer off a little and is turning out longer than expected. Try not to hate me.  
> Thirdly, the title is as cheesy as this story is going to be. Honestly. Romcoms are supposed to have dramatic titles right? Right?!  
> Fourth: in this universe, Rey is Luke's adopted daughter. She is a Skywalker, and referred to as such in the story. 
> 
> (If anyone is wondering where Against the Tide went, I deleted it because this story is probably going to completely invalidate it. Oops.)

“A normal person would have gone to bed an hour ago.” Hux’s flatmate leaned against the doorway, “A quote normal person unquote meaning a college tryhard who goes to parties and pretends to be drunk so that he can sleep around without apparent regrets. It’s three in the morning Hux.” 

 

Hux rolls his eyes, flicks his cigarette in the direction of the doorway. “I have to work on this. My assistant interviewed a couple of clients, with my supervision but the facts of the case have been somewhat distorted when--”

 

“Hux, I enjoy your company but I don’t give a shit about your legal mumbo jumbo. Look. I just finished writing an enormous script. The best I’ve ever written. I’m going to set up some casting opportunities once it's been looked over. Do us both a favor and sleep. For both of us.” He gave two small knocks on Hux’s doorway and backed out. “And find yourself a woman. Or man. Or whatever it is that you enjoy. Working this much isn’t good for you.” 

 

Hux lifted his upper lip in a sneer, but his flatmate had already left the doorway. He rubbed his eyes with his freehand, sighed as he watched the smoke flee his lips and spill over like thick fog. 

 

“Can’t slack.” He mumbled to himself, glancing at the roomba that approached to clear his ashes from the floor. “Fucking robots.” He added, nudging it away from his feet when it got too close. It beeped in protest, continuing on its route regardless. Hux sighed and shifted to tuck in his feet underneath him. 

 

He’d always worked hard on everything. His cases, his schoolwork. Maybe not his relationships. He’d told his flatmate when he moved in that there wouldn’t be sexual activity on his part. All he’d gotten in response was a snort and, “Fantastic. Two losers living in the same house.”

 

He wasn’t a loser, really, he had his priorities straight. Work above all else. Work would be there when no one else was. 

 

_ Work that he’d only gotten because his father worked for the English Bar. _

 

“No.” Hux snapped at his paperwork, “I worked for this. I earned this.” He’d gotten top marks, many letters of recommendation from teachers who admired his work ethic. He’d been an asset to his firm, doing his job thoroughly and completely. Being related to his father had nothing to do with it. 

 

_ Keep telling yourself that.  _

 

“Fuck off.” he mumbled. 

 

“Go to bed!” His flatmate yelled from the next room. 

 

He lifted a middle finger to the room, allowing himself to savor the last of the burn the cigarette left in his lungs before slowly letting it out through his nostrils.  _ Control. _ He really did need to sleep. Coffee could only keep him up so long, even if it was mixed with the atrocity which was energy drinks. It didn’t make up for the real thing. 

 

He smoothed the edge of the page his assistant had written, glancing over it one more time. The words weren’t making sense at that moment anyway. He crumpled the butt of the cigarette into his ashtray, getting out of his seat to go into the bathroom. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were bloodshot. He needed to shave. He sighed. 

 

Maybe he had been working too much. What else was he going to do, ask Phasma to go to another bar? He remembered the last time she’d taken him to what ended up being a sleazy gay bar on the edge of town in which she’d had fun and he had gotten drunk. They hadn’t talked about it, but he knew it had probably been awkward for her to drive him home and separate herself from the pretty girl that she’d chatted up most of the night. 

 

Annoyed by the useless embarrassment that crawled through him, he forced his mind to blank as much as humanly possible. Listening to the sound of the small roomba moving over the carpet lulled him into a light and dreamless sleep. 

 

At least until a car outside started blaring its alarm. 

 

“Fuck.” Hux muttered, sitting up in bed. 

 

\--

 

“I found him.” His flatmate’s eyes practically bulged out of his head, his hands going into the air in a sort of victory cheer. “He was exactly what I was looking for.” 

 

Hux’s eyebrows raised, toast half raised to his lips. “I’m not following. What? You met someone?” 

 

“Not like that.” He paced, a whirlwind of paper and noise that Hux really hadn’t wanted to deal with this early in the day. “He’s… not in drama school, which is where I always get my best applicants. No idea how he even heard of it. But he showed up to auditions and it was  _ him _ , the guy I’d written in the script.” He took Hux’s cup of coffee, drank from it. Hux glared at him. 

 

“You can keep that now, that’s disgusting. And… okay? Congratulations I guess.” He looked back down to the notes his assistant had written in the last interview with the clients she’d interviewed. 

 

“You have to see him.” Henry looked absolutely ecstatic. “I mean seriously, you have to see this guy move. He made this script even better than I thought it’d been written. Nothing has ever come together half as well as this. I mean, usually I get fucked with actors who are decent enough. But Kylo Ren or… whatever the fuck his actual name is. He’s good. I bet you’d enjoy it.” 

 

“I don’t have time for plays.” Hux said, slowly. Because apparently, his flatmate had lost his goddamn mind. “I have important things to do. Like work. Beside that, what kind of name is Kylo?” 

 

“I don’t know, why do kids name their kids things like Dovahkiin and Optimus?” He flung his hands wide, nearly overturning Hux’s abducted coffee cup. “Who cares? He could be named White Rice and I still would have taken him for the job. Seriously, Hux. Trust me on this.” 

 

Hux stared at him for a long moment. “Get me another cup of coffee that your slobber has not been all over, and I’ll consider it.” 

 

“My god, how have you ever made out with anyone?” Henry asked, but got another cup from the cabinet and started pouring coffee into it. “Spit is the natural way of things, friend.” 

 

Hux made a face, putting a sticky note next to one of the lines of the brief. “Yes well, I don’t need other people’s disgusting bodily fluids in my mouth.” Too late, he realized the implications that could have been taken from that. His flatmate smirked, putting the cup in front of him with sugar and cream. 

 

“Ah, friend, if you want to cum in someone elses’ mouth you’re gonna have to learn to take a load.” He smirked, and Hux made a kind of strangled hiss. 

 

“You are absolutely disgusting. I’m going to the office.” He snatched his files, putting them more aggressively into his briefcase than was probably actually necessary and then picked up the cup. “Send me this play information. I’ll make room for it.” 

 

Henry’s laughter followed him out the door. He rolled his eyes. He was early enough that he could probably get some needed quiet to complete his work. Or at least, maybe, a quarter of his to-do list of deadlines finished. 

 

His assistant stood outside, her hair pulled into a bun at the nape of her neck and her eyes too large in her face. “Mr. Hux.” She greeted, her voice quiet as she looked up at him. Her voice was always calm among the storm that was the office. 

 

“Ms. Skywalker.” He gave her a small smile, “You don’t have to be at work for another hour or so.” He reminded her, putting his ID against the scanner. There was a satisfying click as the door unlocked and he held it open for her. 

 

“Well, I have a lot to get done Mr. Hux, and I know you come in early so… I thought I would just ask you to let me in.” She shrugged, laughing a little despite herself. “You can’t chide a fellow workoholic, can you?” 

 

He sighed, “I could but then I would be a hypocrite. Very well then, to your work you go.” He motioned, and she smiled at him. 

 

“Would you like me to get you a coffee, sir?” She asked, but Hux held his cup up and gave a headshake, already settling paperwork onto his desk. 

 

She vanished into the break room nearby, undoubtedly to get herself some caffeine. He eyed the small fridge at the edge of the room contemplating how early he could get away with drinking an energy drink without crashing. He’d wait a few hours. 

 

He fell into his work, appreciating that his assistant was so quiet except for her fingers furiously typing away at the keyboard. He found the noise somehow soothing, and didn’t bother closing the door between her small office and his own. She’d been a secretary first, who had worked tirelessly and who Hux had come to admire. He snatched her up for himself, before any of the other lawyers happened to try and train her for themselves and he paid her well to ensure her comfort. Now that he had a good assistant, he wasn’t about to let her go to the vultures that lurked down the halls. She would have been miserable. 

 

He would have been miserable. She was the closest thing to a friend that he’d had, and while she had a lot weighing on her abilities-- she could easily become a liability to him-- he had faith that she did everything she did well. He’d seen it for himself. Even in the courtroom where stress was at an all time high, she was there taking notes and taking interest. She was ready with anything he needed. 

 

He really needed more people like her, honestly. 

 

_ (7:31 AM)  _ _ Henry _ _ : Put this in your calendar. Next Friday, 7:00PM. That’s the play and I expect you to be there to see my masterpiece. Don’t be late. Bring the pretty assistant lady if you want to. ;)  _

 

He gave his phone a rather disdainful expression. 

 

_ (7:33 AM) Don’t even go there, she’s my assistant and you won’t be driving her off. I just trained her how I like her. I’ll be there.  _

 

_ (7:38 AM)  _ _ Henry _ _ : I meant for you actually, you could do with some winding down.  _

 

_ (7:41 AM) Oh I apologize let me reiterate, she is my ASSISTANT. In my law firm. At WORK. Where employer/employee relationships are DISCOURAGED. Besides she’s like family, hell no.  _

 

_ (7:45 AM)  _ _ Henry _ _ : Calm down General Ginger it was just a suggestion. This is totally why you need to wind down lmao.  _

 

He let out a growl that made his assistant look up, her eyes wide. “It’s nothing.” Hux assured her, moving his phone into his desk drawer and going back to his paperwork viciously. After a long moment, he took his phone back out to add the event to his calendar. He hoped this ‘masterpiece’ would actually be worth his time and enjoyable, or he’d really just be wasting valuable time he could be preparing for court. 

 

His head was pounding by 1400, and he rubbed at his eyes as he sat at his desk. “You look like you could use a nap.” His assistant said, smiling as she stood in the doorway between their offices. “Or maybe a few naps.”

He sighed. “That bad, huh?” He asked, looking up at her and then back down at the notes in front of him. He’d written the same thing three different times, with the same wording every time. “I’m not going to let us down. I’m just… at a block.” He wasn’t sure why he admitted it, but the way she wilted against the doorway and the grateful look on her face made him feel better. 

 

“I thought it was just me. This case is so… complicated. I mean, not complicated really. I can handle complicated. But just the fact so many people have suddenly come out of the woodwork wanting to put in what they know… it’s ridiculous. There’s so many different versions of this story. And we don’t know for sure which version is the right one, really, if there is a right one.” She puts her hands over her face. 

 

“Hey.” Hux says quietly, surprising himself. “It’s always like that. Don’t beat yourself up about it, or it makes the entire process worse. Alright? Go get yourself something to eat and take a break.” 

 

She laughed, “You probably need a break more than I do, sir.” 

 

He shrugged. “I’m used to this. I just need a minute to think. An actual minute, without people bustling around and demanding this or that.” 

 

“You need a day off, is what you need.” She meets his eyes squarely when he looks over at her exasperatedly. “I’m serious! You’ve been here every day since I first came here. All of the other lawyers have taken breaks here and there. Please, sir, do yourself a favor when all of this is over and spend some time at home. It helps a lot.” 

 

Before he could argue, she slipped out his office door into the main building and he groaned. 

 

_ (14:42 PM) Should I take a day off?  _

 

_ (14:44 PM)  _ _ Phasma: _ _ If you’re asking, that definitely means that you should.  _

 

He narrowed his eyes. 

 

_ (14:45 PM) Real helpful, thanks.  _

 

_ (14:49 PM)  _ _ Phasma: _ _ I’m not enabling your work addiction, Hux.  _

 

Everyone was conspiring against him, confirmed. He looked up miserably as his assistant put a coffee in front of him, and a small muffin. “Avoid the break room,” she advised, “Ms. Leslie hasn't had her muffin yet. And you know what happens when she doesn’t get her muffin.” 

 

He tried to pull the smirk off of his lips, but was unsuccessful. “So you make me her target, I see how it is.” 

 

She chuckled, “Well it  _ is _ the last blueberry. I know that’s your favorite.” 

He raised an eyebrow at her, “Okay, what is it that you want from me?” 

 

She looked genuinely confused. 

 

“I mean, you’re… you did this.” He motioned to the coffee and muffin. “There has to be something you want, right? People aren’t just.. nice to each other.” 

 

She frowned, and he instantly regretted commenting on it. “I don’t do things for you to use you, Mr. Hux. I hope you don’t use me either.” 

 

His throat felt like sandpaper. He took a sip of the coffee she’d brought him, “No. I don’t. I apologize, I get a little strange when I haven’t had sleep.” 

 

She gave the tiniest of smiles, “I noticed. May I suggest you allow me to take messages for you and you can take an early leave?” 

 

He almost ran a hand through his hair, but he didn’t. He shrugged, putting binder clips on some of the larger stacks of paperwork. “I trust your judgement.” He’d done enough social damage, and it’s not like he’d gotten nearly as much done as he should have been able to. If nothing else, he could always power up his laptop and work from there. 

 

_ (15:10 PM) If you’re shagging someone, do it quietly or tell them to leave. I’m going to the flat.  _

 

_ (15:12 PM)  _ _ Henry: _ _ I’m not even there. Working with the new actor. He kinda reminds me of you in some ways. A charming asshole type, you know.  _

 

_ (15:15 PM) Wow thanks. I’m so flattered.    _

 

_ (15:19 PM)  _ _ Henry: _ _ Are you sick? You never leave the firm early.  _

 

_ (15:20 PM) No. I offended one of my coworkers and thought it best to leave for a bit, she can handle things on her own.  _

 

A half truth, even if it wasn’t completely the case. He didn’t want to admit to his flatmate of all people that he needed to sleep so he could focus enough to actually read. 

 

_ (15:21 PM)  _ _ Henry: _ _ I feel bad for your assistant honestly.  _

 

_ (15:22 PM) I feel sorry for your actors. Look what you’ve done, you took perfectly functional human beings and gave them anxiety.  _

 

_ (15:25 PM)  _ _ Henry: _ _ That happened way before I got to them!! I did nothing of the sort. Go home and stop using me as an excuse to loiter in your car.  _

  
Hux grumbled, eying the surrounding area before taking Henry’s advice and backing up to head home. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More backstory, setting up and the play. 
> 
> Kylo is in Chapter 3!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's day ;)
> 
> I'll respond to comments soon. I've been really busy! I appreciate everyone who has given a comment and kudos, it means a lot to me and keeps me going. You're all great, I'm happy to contribute to this fandom.

_If there were ever a sign he worked too much, this was it.  
_

Hux stared down at the remains of what was once his desk, coffee still lifted in a stalled journey to his lips and the orange he’d been carrying now laying on the floor near his feet. The paperwork that had been stacked on his desk scattered across the floor, paper and binder clips littering the floor like debris of war.

“How on earth did you manage this?” His assistant asked, stunned from the doorway as she stared at the wreckage. “Shit.” She muttered under her breath, and he ignored the fact he’d heard it.

“I set a book on my desk.” He informed her, quietly. She raised her eyebrows at him questioningly. “I set the book down, and the leg of the desk just… broke.” He said faintly. He sat down in his leather chair. It seemed the best course of action in this situation.

“Well.” She suddenly fought not to smile, but a laugh still escaped her. “Well, that’s something.” She tried again.

“Something indeed.” Hux said, glaring at the paperwork. “If you can get around all of this without stepping on it, feel free. I’m going to need to pick this up.”

“My cousin is really good at fixing things. I mean, most of the time. He would have been a great carpenter but he doesn’t have the patience for it, really. If I asked him I’m sure he’d be happy to help.” She bit her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Should I call him?”

Hux huffed, putting the cooling coffee on one of the shelves with his books. “It’d probably be more useful to just replace the damn thing. I don’t want to repair something that was obviously flimsy enough to fall apart on me like this in the first place.”

He could swear he had more weight than this on his desk before, without it falling apart. What was it about the universe that hated him so much? “It’s like I was a mass murderer in my past life or something.” He growled, and gave a level look to Skywalker when she laughed at it.

“You do have incredibly bad luck.” She agreed, “Let me go make a few calls. I’ll try to get you a new desk as soon as possible. For now… well, we can practice what you’re going to say in court?” She brushed a hand over her slacks, smoothing the material down.  

That seemed productive enough.

“Hey, Mr. Hux.” His assistant said abruptly, then hesitated. “I… hm, I hope this doesn’t come across wrong.”

He raised an eyebrow at her.

“I’m going to a play tomorrow night, and I’d like some company. Not like, you know. I mean…” she let out a sigh that seemed heavier than she was, “You just seem the type of guy that would enjoy a good play and not be creepy and I would like to ask you to go. As friends.”

He started laughing. He couldn’t help it, honestly with the way she’d rambled on. He quieted at her hurt expression, instantly feeling a little regret for it. “I’m not laughing at you. Well, not completely anyway. My roommate wanted to drag me to a play tomorrow night, because he wrote it. As long as you don’t mind all the gloating he’s going to do as ‘London’s best playwright’, I would like it if you joined us.”

She grinned at him, the hurt instantly vanishing from her face. “Really? He wrote it? I would like that. Gloating and all.”

“Good,” Hux said albeit somewhat awkwardly, “We’ll keep you safe. From creepers or whatever it is that you’re worried about.”

She gave him a rather direct look, “Oh I don’t need you to protect me. But it is always good to have backup if a situation goes badly. People underestimate women, you know.” She shrugged, but there was a dangerous edge to her voice.

“Backup it is then.” He said, glancing back down at the wreckage on the floor. “Unless there’s anything else?” He asked, somewhat pointedly. She smiled, turning back to her own small office.

“Well I’ll get to ordering a better desk. And… let me know when you want to show me what you’re going to say in court?” He nodded, accepting her objectives and stooping to start picking up the paperwork from the floor. It would be tedious, figuring out what files went to what. Especially when some of the documents had over thirty pages to them.

It likely would have been easier to just reprint everything, but the scans of the original documents were scattered among the papers and losing those would be beyond damning for his cases.

 _(12:11 PM)_ _Henry:_ _What have you done now?_

Hux immediately looked up over his shoulder, glancing around for any cameras that may be positioned in his office. He saw none, and squinted at the remains of his desk suspiciously.

_(12:13 PM) The fuck? Are you spying on me?_

_(12:14 PM)_ _Henry:_ _Had a feeling. Just kidding, I’m out in the front of your office. Came to smuggle you out for some lunch and the front desk people said you broke something in your office. Apparently there are bets going around._

He stormed out of his office, knowing when the giggles of the front desk people quieted that they had been talking about him.

“What kind of bets?” He hissed to Henry, steering him toward the doors out of the firm.

“Calm down Hux.” He grinned, smacking one of Hux’s shoulders playfully. “They’re just betting whether or not you fucked your assistant on it.”

Henry grabbed his arm as he turned to give a rather impassioned speech about codes, attorney conduct and proper firm etiquette. “Hux, seriously they’re just joking. Let them have their fun.”

“She is _not_ \--” He started, but Henry made a loud shushing noise.

“Yes, we all know. You’re the shining star of Forever Alone, the depressing musical.” He rolled his eyes, “Are you celibate? Are you a monk? Have you pledged your sex drive to the dark lord? Heil Hydra?”

“Fucking nerd.” Hux rolled his eyes, “No. I simply have better things to do than think of my dick. You should try it sometime.”

“Or maybe you should be considerate to your dick and stop denying it sweet release.” Henry practically cackled, setting Hux’s teeth to grind.

“My god, can we stop talking about dicks in public.” He muttered, glancing over at a few girls who sat on the bench nearby. They weren’t paying attention, but he still felt odd about it.

“You’re such a prude, Hux.” Henry said, though it was affectionate. “Gotta loosen up if you’re going to bag yourself a lady. Or man. You still haven’t clarified. There’s a lot to search for here.”

Hux rolled his eyes, “Good, keep guessing. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m pretty damn surprised honestly.”

“Ah, so men then? Bisexual?” Henry gave a stupid little snap that made Hux want to turn and strangle him. Like a civil human being, he held the urge inside.

“Why do you keep trying for this? Henry, I’m not interested in a relationship with anyone. Not my assistant. Not anyone. I don’t need that in my life. It’s too much bullshit.”

“Emotionally unavailable redhead convinced he needs no one to turn to… you do realize you’re a romantic cliché waiting to happen, don’t you?” Henry smirked, “It’s like tragic romance play I’ve ever seen or written.”

“So you admit that everything you write is a cliché.” Hux said, “That’s something.”

Henry groaned. “You’re right. You’re insufferable.” He laughed a little, ruining the effect. “I get it though. I do. I’m divorced, it sucks. You’ll regret not having someone at one point though. It gets lonely sometimes.”

Hux thought about sitting at his desk at home, paperwork flooding his desk and the tiny roomba under his feet. “I don’t need to hear about you being lonely.” Hux said pointedly, “We’ve said enough about dicks today.”

 Henry snorted, “I’m trying to be serious, Hux. Pass on the knowledge of years and all that.”

 “First time for everything.” Hux said, ordering a beer the moment that they’d been sat down at a table. “I deserve a drink. Many drinks.” He told Henry, “You and that goddamn desk have ruined things for me.”

“Stop fucking your assistant on it then.” Henry said brightly, not bothering to look up from the menu to see Hux’s glare.

“Ugh. Speaking of her, she’s coming with us tomorrow night. She wanted company. And _not_ like that.” He said, as Henry opened his mouth. “She just wants to spend time with a friend. That’s it.”

“Romantic clichés everywhere.” Henry muttered.  

 

* * *

  _(17:55 PM)_ _Skywalker:_ _Should I meet you outside the theater so we can find seats together?_

_(17:57 PM) Yes. We’ll be there at least ten minutes before._

_(17:59 PM)_ _Skywalker:_ _If you’re not five minutes early, you’re late. That’s what you said to me when I first started working for you._

_(18:05 PM) It’s a military thing._

_(18:09 PM)_ _Skywalker:_ _I know. I’ll see you there then :-)_

“This play better not be stupid!” He yelled loud enough for Henry to hear from across the flat, going back to ironing the suit jacket he planned to wear. 

“None of my plays are stupid!” Henry called back, “It’s a masterpiece!”

Hux rolled his eyes. A nice shirt, slacks, the jacket. He didn’t need a tie for this, it’s not like he was going to court. He rolled his shoulders once, twice, feeling the tension in his back. He hoped it wouldn’t feel like a waste of time.

Though, even if it did he wouldn’t tell Henry that. He wasn’t that heartless. Henry was a good friend to him, probably better than he’d deserved. He’d lost a lot of his friends in law school when he was so focused on his work he let go of communicating. Phasma and Henry had been the only two to follow up and be there for all of it.

And, he supposed, Skywalker when she’d come into his firm. Her hair had been messy around her shoulders, dark circles under her eyes, but she’d been determined.

“I’m here for that job listing you posted. You’re looking for an assistant?” She had next to no experience, at least not anything that any normal lawyer would have looked twice at. She had inner strength, a fire to her that other candidates didn’t. If there was one thing Hux believed in, it was passion. He didn’t bother interviewing the rest of the candidates that were supposed to come in for an interview. He’d hired her that day.

He still didn’t know exactly why, but he was glad he did. She’d been a useful ally, a good friend, and a good assistant. She finished deadlines long before they were due, reminded him of what he’d forgotten long before it became a problem, and she had documents drafted before he could ask for them.

Engineering, she’d been going for. A teacher had once told him that you could either be a lawyer or an engineer. “You’ll know as soon as you step into a law school which you’ll be.” His assistant had no interest in being a lawyer, but she understood precision and technicality, and that was what he’d been searching for anyway.

Maybe that was why. Maybe it was just that she was good company. She’d impressed him. Something that had been hard to do. All of it had lead him to where he was in that moment.

 “Hey are you ever going to actually get dressed, or just stand around and iron that shirt?” Henry asked from his doorway, eyebrows raised. Hux hissed, pulling the iron off and examining the jacket, happy to see it was unruined.

 “Right okay, we’re meeting my assistant outside of the theater.” He told Henry, putting the jacket on.

 “Your assistant has a name, doesn’t she?” Henry raised an eyebrow.

 Right, about that. “Everyone has a name,” Hux snapped, “I just… forgot. I only needed to know her last name and her résumé is somewhere in that broken shithole of a desk.” He shrugged.

 “I hope you realize you’re a terrible person.” Henry said, with some amusement.

 “The only reason she knows my first name is because she works for me.” Hux said with some annoyance, “Otherwise, I never would have told her.”

 Henry gave him an unimpressed look, “Yes, and that’s your choice. I’m sure she’d like to be called something other than… uh.”

 “Skywalker.” Hux said, unamused.

 “Really? _Skywalker_ , all the time.” Henry brushed his hands on his shirt. “Well, how do I look?”

 Hux felt his lips curve upward in a smirk, “My honest opinion, or what you want to hear?”

 “Sod off, mate.” Henry said, but seemed to appreciate the humor. “Once you see this play, your whole life will change. It will be magical. Fantastical! Phantas--”

 “Shut the fuck up.” Hux said, ignoring Henry’s laughter following him out the flat.

* * *

 She had her hands tucked into her jacket, her hair in neat little buns at the back of her head. Surprising to him was the fact she was wearing a pretty black dress, one that fell to nearly her knees, and neat little heels. She’d always worn slacks that he’d ever seen, but he supposed maybe she was different outside of her professional life. He didn’t know.

 He’d made it a point not to know anyone outside of work on a personal level.

 “Mr. Hux.” She smiled at him.

 “Ms. Skywalker. But please, just call me Hux.” He said, offering her his arm. It was old school, but polite as far as he was concerned. She laughed, but took his arm.

 “You can call me Rey.” She said, looking over at him. “And I’m curious now, do you actually have a first name? Is the one on the forms fake?” She asked playfully. 

 “Unfortunately it is my real first name. It's just... Not one that’s important. Ignore that you've seen it.” Hux answered, “This is Henry. He’s my flatmate, and also the playwright of this play. Henry, as you heard this is Rey. My legal assistant.”

 Henry grinned at her, kissing the back of her hand and she reached it out for a handshake. “A pleasure to meet you, Hux didn’t mention how lovely you are.”

She smirked, “I’m sure he didn’t. I haven’t given him much reason to think I’m lovely, with all the paperwork I end up giving him by the end of the day.”

 Hux sighed, “Indeed, but it must be done I’m afraid.” He said with some levity. “I guess we should go inside and find some seats?”

 As Henry and Rey both gave him a nod, he led the way inside.

 He’d been to many plays as a child. His father had believed it would expand his education, his mother had simply just agreed for the sake of agreeing. He hadn’t liked many of them, but it was likely because his father had spent most of them lecturing him about life lessons the play presented like it was an educational film.

 That’s how he’d met Henry. He was an acquaintance of Hux’s father, who didn’t believe a playwright would ever be worth anything. This of course spurred Hux to talk more to him, and eventually their friendship was solid. When he’d moved back from law school, Henry had offered him a place to stay.

 That also meant now Henry wanted him to go to his plays, and he couldn’t just tell Henry that he didn’t want to be reminded of his father. He wanted to enjoy them. He wanted to just forget his past experiences.

 “You’re tense.” Rey told him quietly.

 He shrugged, using it as an excuse to subtly roll his shoulders back and relax. “Am I?”

 “Yes.” She smiled, “It’s okay, I’m nervous too. I invited my boyfriend to come at first, but he got really busy. His friends are back from deployment, you know. I told him to spend time with them while they’re here.”

 “Ah. So the answer to my being early thing becomes clear.” Hux said.

 “Exactly. Finn has said that in the past.” She crosses one leg over the other. “I hope they don’t get too excited. Nines has this stunt with a baton and he gets a little… excited with it.”

 “I know a few people like that.” Hux glances over at Henry, but he’s not paying attention. “This one especially.”

 She grins at him, looks back to the stage.

 “Soon.” Henry says like a promise, a smirk on his lips as he also looks up at the stage. There’s a few moments more of chatter, than a hush as the lights dim and the curtains part.

 And just like that, his entire world changed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story is getting a little more plot than I expected, which certainly isn't a bad thing!  
> I suppose it makes sense that Kylo being involved in the story brought on some really unexpected angst and possible bombshells to drop on poor unsuspecting Hux in later chapters. Typical Kylo.  
> Poor boy is a mess, whether he realizes it or not.  
> Enjoy! I need to catch up on comments and everything again, but I do read them all and I love them to bits and pieces. This fandom is truly the best. :)
> 
> ALSO Kylo's description of himself was heavily inspired by: http://orisoni.tumblr.com/post/139076257260 it's a gorgeous picture, and I actually hadn't intended to describe it but I realized about five minutes ago I totally did (with a few differences, but still). Oops! Give the artist all the love ;) my subconscious adores the picture more than I realized I suppose haha.

Hux didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but it was not _him_.

He was tall, and seemed twice as such on stage. He had energy, personality, a _presence_ that no one else on that stage could or dared to try to match. On top of all of that, he was also ridiculously… cute. Hux hated the word, hated the patronizing tone even associated with it. Yet, it was true.

_Thank god people can’t read minds._

“I don’t know where you found him, but he’s definitely a keeper.” Hux said, after the deafening applause had died down.

Henry looked all too pleased with himself, “As I said. He came to me. I have no idea how he even heard of it. But you can bet those sweet cheeks that I’m not letting him go easy.”

Rey smirked, glancing over at him in a way he couldn’t quite interpret.

“Care to share?” He asked,  amused.

“Oh nothing. I just think you might have a little crush.”

He felt heat in his cheeks, obvious even in the dimmest of lighting. He hated blushing, it brought out the faint freckles in his face like nothing else did. “What would give you that impression?” He asked, forcing his voice into some semblance of calm.

“Maybe the way you stared at him for half the play? Oh come now, it’s sweet.” She smiled, giving a little laugh.

Hux huffed, “It was a play. You’re supposed to stare at the main character.”

“Not like you want to rip his pants off.” Rey bit her bottom lip, trying not to smile harder. She was failing miserably.

“The fact you’re denying it makes it more obvious, mate.” Henry said, smirking. Rey leaned back in her seat a little.

“I’m siding with Henry on this one. Sorry.” She grinned.

“I’m firing you.” Hux grumbled, with absolutely no intent behind it. She chuckled. “Look, fine, if it will get you two off my back I’ll go backstage and chat with him. Would that make you happy?”

Rey looked absolutely predatory, “Oh sure it will make us happy. Yes, yes you should. I would be delighted for you.”

“My sweet Huxy-kins, he’s grown up so fast.” Henry feigned wiping a tear from his cheek. “Go and fulfil your destiny, sweet summer child.”

Hux could practically feel the contempt roll off of him in a wave, his upper lip lifted in a sneer he usually reserved for the lawyer across the building who had a habit of giving a pompous cough after finishing every sentence. “This is why I pretend I don’t know you.”

Henry started laughing genuinely, face turning red as he smacked his hand against the seat he still occupied. “You should honestly see some of the faces you make.” He wheezed. Rey patted his shoulder, giving Hux a wink.

“Go on now. Make us proud.” She said, cheerfully.

“You act like I’m going to ask the guy to marry me, damn.” Hux glared at them, very purposely forcing himself to walk proudly away from them instead of giving in to the urge to slink away into the shadows.

 _(21:06 PM)_ _Henry:_ _Nice stick up your ass there, champ._

Hux groaned, walking faster as he approached the back of the stage. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly through his nose. He itched for a cigarette. “Do you mind telling me where Kylo Ren’s room is?” He asked a tall blonde as she turned to smile at him, giving him a thorough once-over.

“Ooh, lucky boy. His room is down the end of the hallway, last door on the right.” She winked at him, “If he doesn’t live up to your standards. Mine is the second door on the left.”

He kept his glare in check, “Thanks. Um…”

“Betsi.” She leaned back against the wall, one hand on her hip almost invitingly.

“Nice to meet you, Betsi.” Hux said, turning away from her and down the hall. What was he even doing? Talking to some guy he didn’t even know, who his roommate had hired. If anything, doing this was absolutely creepy.

_(21:11) What am I even doing? Talk me out of this immediately._

_(21:12)_ _Skywalker:_ _You’re going to ask him out on a date, silly! Now go do it. I know you’re not a quitter. You’ve dragged many people through the ringer in the courtroom. :-)_

_(21:12) I should have known you’d be no help._

_(21:12)_ _Skywalker:_ _:-) stop stalling._

He smoothed his hair, quietly added Rey and Henry to his mental shit-list and knocked twice.

“Yeah?” He heard, and knew there was absolutely no coming back from this. The incoming humiliation would haunt him those moments before he fell asleep for the rest of his life.

He quietly opened the door and peeked his head around it. _Just do it, Hux._ “Hello, uh.. Kylo Ren?” Why had that even come out as a question?

“Yes?” Kylo asked, eyebrows high on his face. “I mean, you probably wouldn’t know where I was if you hadn’t asked, right?”

“I’m not a stalker.” Hux snorted, defensively. “I’m a friend of Henry’s.”

“Oh.” Kylo instantly looked less suspicious, “Ah, that makes a lot of sense now. What can I do for you?”

Hux took a deep breath, instantly craved a cigarette and kind of wished the ground under him would just swallow him up in a deep chasm. “Fuck. Well, I was wondering…”

Kylo smiled, leaning forward onto an elbow and looking into his face.

“Would it be… very wrong, if I asked you for your number?” Hux mentally punched himself. _Way to sound like an inexperienced teenager, Hux._ He’d always had so much confidence in the face of challenge, and now it only took this man’s pretty face to make him hesitant. He was losing his grip.

Kylo looked shocked for about half a moment, but then gave a huge grin. “Would it be wrong of me to ask your name first?”

Using his own hesitation against him, what a bastard. And yet, Hux found himself giving a sheepish kind of smirk. “Hux.”

“Hux.” He repeated, the name rolling off of his tongue in a deep voice and all too pleased tone, “I would love to give you my number.” His eyes burned, in a sort of sultry way. _Dear god what was he getting himself into._ “So tell me, Hux. Do you like random phone calls? Do you like random texts that may or may not include small talk? Do you like random pictures of dogs that I see on my daily walks? If so, I am the right man for you.”

He couldn’t help himself, a startled laugh found it’s way out of him before he could even think to stop it. “Did you honestly just pitch yourself to me?”

“Why not? I have to keep the cute ones interested.” He seemed pleased with himself.

“Well, Kylo Ren. I do happen to like all of those things. I also happen to have a cat named Millicent. If you’re a dog person, you might be out of luck. We come as a package deal.”

He smirked, tilting his head a little. “Oh, what a shame.” He said, sarcastically. “I guess I’ll have to accept…”

Hux smiled. “Good. I would be disappointed to walk away because you have loyalties to the inferior pet breed.”

He gasped, putting a hand over his heart. “Hux! Straight to the heart. You wound me.” He leaned forward, much closer than he had been before. “Maybe I’ll send enough dog pictures to win over that cold heart of yours. Only terrible people love cats.”

Hux raised an eyebrow, “Oh is that so? You can try, but you won’t win.” Already it seemed natural somehow, like he’d known him for a long time.

“Well? Hand over your phone then. Let the dog pictures commence.” He grinned, taking Hux’s phone as he held it out almost defiantly. Hux back his phone as it was handed to him. “Go on and call, I promise it is actually my number.”

“What if I just decide to believe you?” Hux said, looking slightly up at him. Hux had always felt fairly tall, but Kylo still stood a few inches taller than him. Normally, that would annoy him. But Kylo was standing in such a way it didn’t seem like he was trying to tower over him. He could accept that.

“You know, I usually give the wrong number to people who come asking. But I like you already. I think we’d get along quite well.” He grinned, “I’ll be gentle, don’t worry. I won’t introduce you to the entire Kylo package all at once.” He seemed to realize too late what had come out of his mouth, if the sheepish expression and faint blush were anything to go by.

“Who says gentle is my thing?” Hux smirked, glancing at his phone. “Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side? How lovely.” He ignored Kylo’s little eyebrow jump of intrigue at that.

He hummed his agreement, “And what should I put for yours Hux? What’s your last name?”

Hux glanced away, tucking his phone in his pocket. “It is my last name. I’d really prefer not to have to use my first.”

“I get it,” Kylo said, catching Hux’s attention. “Kylo Ren isn’t my legal name. It’s my stage name. But… I prefer it. Ben Solo just sounds fucking terrible.”

Hux raised his eyebrows. “Is that your legal name?”

“Yeah. Benjamin Solo. Honestly, it’s bad joke waiting to happen.” He frowned, like he expected to be made fun of.

“You really can’t beat Brendol, sorry. It’s the worst first name in the history of anything.”

Kylo smiled, “I think it’s cute.”

“You would not say that if you met my namesake.” Hux snorted.

“Well, I’ll call you Hux and you can call me Kylo. Or Ren, or… both I guess.” He offered.

“Sounds good.” Hux said, “And uh.. I hope I haven’t made you late for anything.” He rubbed the back of his neck, once.

“Even if you had, it’d be worth it.” Kylo laughed a little, the noise low and entirely too attractive. “You haven’t made me late to anything though.”

“Good.” Hux said, but before he could say anything else there was a knock at the door.

“Remember, children. Condoms are important!” Henry called, then opened the door. “Just kidding, Hux is a prude. Kylo! You did absolutely wonderfully.”

Hux glared hard at him, ignoring Kylo’s laugh and lifting a middle finger in Henry’s direction.  

“Thanks Henry. I’m glad you gave me a chance at it.” Kylo said, taking Henry’s half hug and giving him a clap on the back, “And be nice to Hux.” He added, nudging Henry.

“Are you kidding? General Ginger here likes it mean.” He reached like he was going to ruffle Hux’s hair, but Hux stepped closer to Kylo to get out of range.

“Don’t call me that.” Hux said, giving him an icy look.

“The redheads are always the feisty ones Kylo, a bit of life lesson for you. My ex-wife was a redhead, and boy are they wild in bed.” Henry grinned at Hux’s groan and eye roll.

“For fuck’s sake Henry, honestly.” Hux hissed.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Kylo said, for all the world like he was in some kind of science class taking notes.

“Did you leave my assistant outside?” Hux asked, horrified.

“No, her boyfriend came and picked her up. I stayed outside with her and watched them leave, don’t worry.” He scoffed, “Do you really think I’d leave a pretty girl alone outside on her own? Strong or not, there’s a lot of people out there who’d like to pick a fight and I wouldn’t leave her to it.”

Hux sighed, “You’re right.” He rubbed at his temples once, “In any case. I should probably get back to my ever growing mound of paperwork.” He glanced at Kylo, a small smile on his lips.

“Mm, but that doesn’t sound fun.” Kylo said, sitting on the edge of the vanity he’d been sitting at.

“Story of Hux’s life.” Henry smirked, “Maybe you can break him out of his boring shell. Get him out a little, eh Kylo?”

“You’re a terrible person.” Hux informed Henry, rather annoyed at that comment.

“Either way, I would like to hang out sometime.” Kylo said, breaking Hux out of his death stare at the side of Henry’s head. “So text me?”

It sounded so genuinely hopeful. “Well obviously, where else am I going to get bombarded with dog pictures and random texts that may or may not be small talk?” Hux asked, amused.

“Where else are you going to get unsolicited dick pics?” Henry chimed in, stroking his beard like some sort of Disney villain.

Kylo grinned. “That was one time, Henry! Goodbye then for now, General Hux.”

The way he said it felt like fingers down his spine, pressing at just the right points. He thanked whatever god might be out there that he didn’t blush. “Goodbye, Kylo Ren.” He said, just as low as Kylo had said his own name.

The result was instantaneous. Kylo turned a shade of red, and his lashes lowered over his eyes in a way that honestly seemed like more dangerous than promising. Hux decided he liked that.

Henry cat called as Hux left the room, letting out a deep sigh at himself.

* * *

_(21:50) So tell me, if you’re the lord of the Dark Side, who is the ruler?_

_(21:52)_ _Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side:_ _Elvis Presley of course. Rock = the devil’s music, Elvis= King of Rock. Therefore, Elvis= king of the devil’s music._

_(21:53) He may be king of the devil’s music, but the devil’s music doesn’t mean it’s the dark side. You have to blow up a few preschools. True evil, that kind of thing._

_(21:54) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _HMMM… fair point._

 _(21:54) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _I had a dog that herded eight sheep into the ocean and watched them get dragged into the current. Does that kind of mass murder count?_

_(21:55) Oh my fucking god. I shouldn’t be laughing this hard._

_(21:56)_ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _lol I wish I was kidding but I’m not, my dog was a murderer. Those poor sheep trusted her, and she used it against them._

 _(21:56) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _[Incoming attachment: photo] look at that face. She looks sweet… and then she herds you to your death._

_(21:57) You realize you’re making my argument why cats are superior for me, right?_

_(21:58) You win, your dog can be Queen of the Dark Side. She’s earned the title._

_(21:58) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _;) I’ll pass that along the next time I see her._

_(22:15) She doesn’t live with you?_

_(22:21) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _Oh, no she’s my parents’ dog I guess. I only see her every once in awhile._

_(22:22) Aww you two can’t plot mass murder together._

_(22:23) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _You know, I totally thought our first texting convo would go way differently but this somehow just feels so accurate. “Today I met a cute guy, he asked for my number. Then we talked about murder.”_

_(22:24) That’s me. Going for the unexpected. Why flirt like a regular person when you can talk about murder?_

_(22:25) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _It definitely wasn’t a complaint. But yeah you’re right, poor Padmé and I won’t be able to plot murder any time soon._

_(22:26) Padmé is your dog?_

_(22:27) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _Yeah. It was my grandma’s name I guess. And by I guess, I mean I’ve never met her. She died giving birth to my mother and my uncle._

_(22:29) Well then. I mean, at least you didn’t meet her and hate her right?_

_(22:30) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _Fair point. Anyway! Tell me about yourself. Whatever you want me to know._

 _(22:30) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _Wait. Do you mind if I call you?_

_(22:31) Uh, sure why not._

_[Incoming call: Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side]_

“Kylo?” Hux asked, somewhat amused.

“I like calling rather than texting. One thing about me. Plus I like your voice.” Kylo made some kind of muffled noise, “Anyway, about you.”

“Okay, first what are you doing?” Hux asked, lighting a cigarette.

“Stuffing my face like a pig. No regrets. Although I did a terrible job because it tastes like shit. What are you doing?”

“Talking to you, and smoking. I’m not good at talking about myself. Does that count as something? I’m twenty nine. I’m a lawyer...”

Kylo chuckled, “Smoking huh? Okay, well uh. I’m twenty five. I was in drama school, and then I dropped out. When I was really young I wanted to be a doctor but I kinda decided against it.”

“Interesting. What are your favorite kind of movies?” He took a drag of his cigarette, moved his feet as the roomba moved under his desk.

“Horror movies. Although, I do go see comedies and rom coms with my cousin sometimes. You?”

Hux considered that. “I don’t know, I don’t see movies often. Probably the same, to be honest.”

Kylo made a thoughtful noise. “What’s your family like? Or uh.. is that too much.”

“I’ll take a pass on that. Yours?” Hux tips his cigarette toward the ashtray and flicks off the end. Ashes float down into the black container.

“Same. I don’t like talking about them.” His voice is noticeably firmer, “Okay. Well. Tattoos?”

“Don’t have any, it’s not really firm appropriate.” Hux admitted, “You have them?”

“Yeah. I have a sword on my back with Knights of Ren tattooed over it. I have a… well. It’s kind of hard to explain. It’s a hexagon with a circle in it, with lines that point to the center. And then… uh, well I have my grandfather tattooed onto my arm. That’s also a story I’d rather not get into, honestly.”

“What about the Knights of Ren?” Hux asked, breathing out smoke into the open air.

“A group of friends who were like family to me, once. We all took the last name Ren, you know. The leader named me Kylo Ren, like he gave everyone else their names. But he was… yeah. Fuck, it’s kind of a weird thing I did in my past. I shouldn’t have mentioned it, but I thought you might see it one day and felt like I should try to explain? And I will… just later. Sorry.”

There were more and more questions, and less answers. Hux let it go. Kylo wasn’t being interrogated anyway. “No need to apologize. I probably would have wanted a tattoo growing up if I’d had a different family. It was always kind of looked down upon. Body modification of all sorts. I don’t care, really. My parents did. Hm, I said I wouldn’t bring it up. It felt relevant.”

Kylo laughed, “I get what you mean. My parents… well. They thought I was being a rebellious asshole when I had them done, but I never regretted it. I pierced my septum once and I think my mother nearly had a heart attack. I still wear it sometimes. Enough to keep the piercing from closing. Not enough to actually wear it out. My ears are pierced. Uh..”

“What?”

“I almost got my dick pierced once.” Kylo said quietly, almost conspiratorially.

“No you didn’t.” Hux said, nearly dropping his cigarette and trying to force back the laughter brimming inside him.

“No! I didn’t. I got my clavicle pierced instead. God what a stupid thing to do really, I mean I don’t wear it anymore. It closed up years ago. But I did think about it. My cousin talked me out of it.”

“You told your cousin you were going to get a dick piercing? My god, Kylo.” Hux laughed, despite himself.

“Well yeah, I mean she’s the rational half of this dysfunctional duo. We’re both black sheep of the family for the most part. But she is the conscience I really don’t have otherwise. I’m the one who beats the shit out of her boyfriends to make sure they’re good enough for her.”

“Have you really?” Hux asked, amused.

“She has no idea, of course. She’d just tell me she can defend herself, and she’s right. Absolutely. She’s kicked my ass more than a few times, but I still feel like I’m doing the right thing. Making sure they know what they’re up against if they dare break her heart, you know?” Kylo sounded like he was smiling. “Anyway. Are you the kind of guy that leaves his christmas tree up all year round?”

Hux huffs, presses the cigarette out completely. “I don’t have anything to do with that. My flatmate decorates, gives gifts all that kind of stuff. I’m not into it. Holidays mean nothing to me.”

Kylo gives a kind of breathy noise, “Really? I guess I get it. Holidays are amazing. I hate the whole family gathering bullshit, but the rest of it is fun. There’s lights, shitloads of food. Gratingly catchy music.”

“You’re not selling me on this, Kylo.” Hux gives a sort of laugh that he doesn’t want to make. “Okay, here’s a good one. You repeated me when I said I was smoking. Do you not like it?”

“I smoke sometimes, so I can’t really say anything. We are talking cigarettes… right?”

“Cigarettes. I don’t do drugs.” Hux says, too sharply. “I want nothing to do with that.”

Kylo makes a kind of noise. “Fair enough. I don’t do drugs either. I was around it a lot, way back when. The whole Knights thing. If I could see myself as I am now as the person I was back then, I’d never fucking believe it to be honest.”

“Why’s that?” Hux feels like this is too easy for him. He knows what to ask because he conducts interviews of clients all the time. It’s like he’s screening Kylo to see if he wants to date him. And yet, he already knows he does. Somehow. It’s a connection he doesn’t really understand.

“Well I mean, back then I smoked like… a pack a day. I got drunk more often than I can remember. I ate horrible food at the local pubs, biked around with them all the time. Got fucked up more than a few times… and now I just… ride my bike every so often. I do daily runs. I drink almost exclusively water and fucking meal prep. Yeah, I never would have believed it. I’m everything I was ever against back then, I guess I could say.”

“Sounds like you’re doing better for yourself, honestly.” Hux shrugs, then remembers Kylo can’t see him. “All of those things are good for you.”

“Maybe. I like better people now than I did back then. I like you. You seem like a good person.” He says, abruptly. Like he’d finally gotten the words to come out.

“I like you too.” Hux admitted, glancing at the stack of paperwork he’d been ignoring. He pushed it aside to the edge of his desk. “But I’m not a good person by any means.”

“Ha, from what I know you are by  my standards. Okay… so, can I ask you on a date?” Kylo asked.

“Kylo, I wouldn’t have given you my number if I didn’t want to go on a date with you.” Hux reminded him, smiling and glad that no one else could see him at that moment.

“...Oh yeah, that’s a good point.” He cleared his throat. “So yeah, let’s go on a date.” He sounded much more excited.

There were very few times in his life he could remember actually being interested enough to set up a date to spend time with someone else. And yet, Kylo somehow succeeded. He somehow fit right into a void Hux hadn’t realized was even there. When they’d gotten the date confirmed, Hux cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder as he got dressed for bed and laid on top of his sheets.

“So answer me one very important question.” Hux said, “How do you even pronounce your dog… uh, grandmother’s name?”

Kylo laughed, “Padmé.”

“Good, now I won’t sound like an asshat if I ever have to say it in front of you.”

“In reference to my dog? You could just call her Queen of the Dark Side. But fair enough. For the record, I’m imagining a tiny hat on top of an ass. The kind with the stupid flaps on the side.”

Hux gave a small huff, “You would. That’s an interesting name. I’ve never heard it.”

“Oh boy, well here’s another one for you. My br-- gah, sorry I hiccuped. My grandfather’s name is Anakin.”

“Dear god.” Hux sighed. “Please tell me that they didn’t call him Ani.” 

“Nailed it.” Kylo said. “Honestly he was the most interesting one out of them all though. He had a rough life. I admire him, really.”

“Well I figured if he’s the one tattooed into your arm.” Hux said, shifting the other side of his face into his pillow. “I’m going to go to sleep in a few minutes.” He informed Kylo, his voice already tired.

“Fine, leave me why don’t you.” Kylo sounded amused, “Are you in bed?”

“You ask that way too enthusiastically.” Hux mumbled. “Yes, I am.”

“What! I didn’t even ask anything dirty. Well, alright then. Good night, General Hux. I’ll text you a picture of the cute dog I always see in the morning.”

Hux smiled again, ignoring the stirrings of that feeling down his spine. “You do that. Goodnight, Kylo Ren.” Millicent let out a tiny meow as she jumped onto the bed, climbing onto Hux’s neck and laying there to purr.

“I hear the enemy.” Kylo joked. “Making her move to steal all of the attention.”

Hux laughed, shocking himself with how easy it came. “She’ll always be my favorite. You could become a close second if you try hard.”

“Ouch, already knocked down to second best.” Kylo laughed again, low and deep like he had in his dressing room. “Sweet dreams.”

The call disconnected. Hux reached up to stroke Millicent’s head, closing his eyes at her purrs. “I think you’d like him.” He told her, and let himself drift away.

* * *

Rey kept smirking at him throughout the day. He tried to ignore it, and succeeded mostly until she started laughing.

“What?” He snapped, glancing at her through their open doorway.

“You’ve been smiling all day.” She informed him, “When you catch yourself doing it, you keep frowning. So. I take it last night went well?”

Hux stared at her, giving her an unimpressed look. “We’re not supposed to discuss personal matters at work. I’m not gossiping with you.”

“Oh come on, Mr. Hux.” She smiled disarmingly, “I just want to know if you at least are going to go on a date with him. You did leave me in the lobby… I didn’t get to hear.”

Hux groaned, putting his face down on his new desk. “Yes, I am going to go on a date with him. I already apologized twice for leaving you with Henry. God knows he’s a handful.”

“I like him, actually. He’s funny. I was just playing with you, Mr. Hux. Oh and I’m happy for you.” She stood, leaving her office and passing through his. “Coffee?” She asked.

“If I’m going to keep getting interrogated, yeah I will take some.” Hux glared, looking back down at his paperwork. It’d been a productive day. The stack had gotten down to a few documents, and he needed to write out a rather formal document for Rey to proofread. He supposed it was a good thing, if he was going on a date and wouldn’t have that night for work.

“Alright then.” Rey smirked, glancing at the desk for a moment. “Is that one sturdier?”

“Seems like it. Then again, the other one seemed fine until it decided to give me hell.” Hux tried to jiggle it, but the desk didn’t budge. “It works, anyway. That’s what I needed it to do.”

She smiled, turning to the break room for coffee.

 _(15:06) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _I was excited about this Capuccino food bar I got. But it tastes like coffee grinds, dirt, and lies._

Hux put a hand over his face, trying hard not to laugh and draw attention to himself.

_(15:10) Why not just have a fucking cappuccino? What do lies taste like?_

_(15:11) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side:  _ _BLASPHEMY. That is your answer to both questions._

 _(15:13) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _[incoming attachment: photo] look at the cute dog across the street. You can’t hate that face. You just can’t._

_(15:15) That dog looks like it has the jowls of John McCain._

_(15:20)_ _Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side:_ _I had to stop running I was laughing too hard, fyi._

_(15:21) Really? I didn’t even try that time._

He shook his head, turning back to his computer and typing out the facts of the case, writing himself a map that he could memorize later. All of the details would be important in court, he couldn’t afford to forget any of them.

 _(15:23) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _Okay, okay how does one truly not like dogs?_

_(15:24) I’m sure there’s a multitude of ginger jokes that can justify this to you._

_(15:26) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _I wasn’t even going to go there. Too mainstream._

_(15:27) Fucking hipster._

It all came to him so naturally. Again he got that eerie feeling like Kylo fit in so naturally into his life and friend group. He seemed outgoing, which was something that Hux wasn’t but was apparently drawn to. He was taller than what Hux usually was attracted to, sent the most absurd things he could come up with, and yet he was genuine in a way Hux had to appreciate. He dealt with people all day who would sooner lie to him to make themselves look good than tell him the truth. He dealt with people who would step on anyone to get what they wanted and climb further up the latter.

Getting a simple amusing text from this ridiculous man just somehow fit on the list of things Hux never would have expected he’d get in life.

And yet part of him suspected there was way more to Kylo Ren than he was letting on. It wasn’t just the mentions of his family and the Knights of Ren that had given him an unsettling feeling, it was just the fact he seemed so… content. Everyone he’d ever known that put on such a happy face for the world had some deep shit lying underneath. It was part of the reason he found it hard to trust and didn’t want a relationship. Why step into that when he had his own to deal with?

But he still kept texting Kylo, still was going to go on a date with him. Why? That was the part he couldn’t figure out.

“Are you okay?” Rey asked, setting a coffee in front of him and what looked like a wedge of brownie. “Someone brought them into work today.” She said in explanation at his questioning expression.

“I’m fine. No, actually I have a question. Does your boyfriend ever just… not answer questions directly? You know, goes on a side tangent rather than actually answering questions.” He raised an eyebrow at her, pulling the coffee closer and giving it a stir with the small straw she’d put into it.

“All the time. He can’t answer questions pertaining to his job… just like I can’t give him the specifics of cases in mine. Why do you ask?” She bit her bottom lip, glancing at the back of his computer and back at him.

“I was thinking earlier. About a case, that’s all. Thank you, Ms. Skywalker.” He said, looking back at the screen. She made a thoughtful noise and turned away back to her own office. He sighed to himself, throwing himself back into his work. Maybe Kylo just felt the need to be more optimistic than he really was. Maybe all of that had been part of a court case Kylo couldn’t talk about. Maybe he didn’t want to know anything about Kylo Ren’s families.

 _(15:39) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _That’s me. Going on a run with my hair in a man bun, refusing to make redhead jokes._

_(15:39) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: Showing off my tats and earrings. Wearing a muscle shirt currently because the sleeves had holes so I cut them off. Listening to Lana del Rey. _

_(15:40) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side:  _ _Oh GOD I really am a hipster._

_(15:42) I’m happy to add to your existential crisis. It’s ok, usually I hate hipsters but at least you’re good looking._

_(15:44) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _;) are you flirting with me?_

_(15:45) Don’t make me regret this decision._

_(15:47) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _:(_

_(15:48) Emojis should honestly be banned from the face of this planet._

_(15:48) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ >:( but then how will you know how I’m feeling? _

_(15:49) Context._

_(15:50) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _You gigantic grump. Where is your fun in life?_

_(15:51) Winding up the not-hipsters on the status of their true deep-set hipster tendencies._

_(15:52) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _Wow. Enlighten me, master._

_(15:54) Holy fuck do not call me that. That creeps me out as much as the daddy thing does._

_(15:55) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ >:) _

_(15:56) Goodbye I have to WORK._

_(15:58) Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _RUDE._

“You’re smiling again.” Rey informed him from the doorway.

"No I'm not." Hux turned to give her a level look. "Stop gossip-mongering." 

She grinned, "When are you going on a date with him?" 

 _Totally ignoring him, of course._  

"Soon." Hux informed her. That much information wouldn't hurt, anyway. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because of Kylo, Hux is starting to learn to expect the unexpected.

_ (22:02) I’m going to regret this.  _

_ (22:03) What is your middle name?  _

_ (22:09)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ And here I thought it was going to be something perverted.  _

_ (22:10) You’ve got to work for it, bitch.  _

_ (22:11)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ lol General Hux is feisty tonight!  _

_ (22:12) No really, what is your middle name? I’m curious.  _

_ (22:14)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Jacen Amidala, if you absolutely must know.  _

_ (22:15) How long is your name? Holy shit.  _

_ (22:16)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Benjamin Jacen Amidala Solo-Organa. Only ever used Solo as a last name though. Yeah it’s obvious my parents hate me.  _

_ (22:17) Oh fuck off, it’s not that bad. Amidala is a new one though.  _

_ (22:18)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Grandmother Padmé’s surname. They wanted to keep it in the family line I guess.  _

_ (22:19) They gave you her surname and your mass murdering dog her first name. A dog. Wow.  _

_ (22:20)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ You know, I never thought of that before. But to be fair, they didn’t have a daughter to name Padmé so…. went with what was easier I guess.  _

_ (22:20)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ So what is your middle name then?  _

_ (22:21) Guess. I’m going to bed now, good night.  _

_ (22:22)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Oi that’s not how it works you duck.  _

_ (22:23)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Lol dick*  _

_ (22:25)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Hey!!!  _

_ (22:27)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Oh my god you suck.  _

_ (22:35)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Nerf herder.  _

* * *

_ (5:00) What the fuck is a nerf herder? _

Hux fixed his tie in the mirror, sighing a little. Today he had a conference meeting with his clients, the counterparty and their lawyers. It was going to be messy, as it always was when dealing with Biggs. The old man was cunning, had a way of pinning you with his eyes. When they weren’t working cases against each other, he was a nice guy. Even friendly. 

Inside the courtroom, it was a different story. Hux was never one to accept defeat, and he especially wasn’t going to let someone like Biggs get the upper hand on him. Older wasn’t wiser, as far as he was concerned. Hux was methodological, could think on his feet easily. It was keeping his client on track that would be the time consuming part of it. 

They all wanted to talk about details that didn’t mean anything in the long run. 

Hux rubbed his temples. To his schedule, he needed his suit jacket, suit pants and a button down shirt. His tie. His coffee for sure. He was debating still on the raspberry pastry that Henry had brought back for him last night on his date with a lady he hadn’t met yet-- and frankly didn’t want to. 

_ (5:05)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Wtf who is even awake at this ungodly hour. Also it’s something my mother said one time, idk what it actually means.  _

_ (5:07) I’m getting ready like a normal person.  _

_ (5:07) Did I wake you up? _

_ (5:08)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ At 5AM? Jfc. Lawyers have it bad. It’s SATURDAY.  _

_ (5:08)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ And yeah but it’s ok.  _

_ (5:09) Nice to know I have your pity. By the way, it’s Aldrich.  _

_ (5:10)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ what?  _

_ (5:11)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ oh your middle name?  _

_ (5:12) Why yes, sleeping beauty. That is my middle name.  _

_ (5:13)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Aw you think I’m beautiful. I’m flipping my hair L’Oréal style.  _

_ (5:14) Don’t flatter yourself.  _

_ (5:14)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ >:(  _

_ (5:14) Ew.  _

_ (5:15)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ I’m going back to bed fuck you too.  >:(  _

_ (5:15) I weep for your damaged dignity.  _

_ (5:15)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ I’d be genuinely hurt if Henry hadn’t told me this is your personality.  _

_ (5:16) What? You asked Henry about me?  _

_ (5:16)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Well duh. I also Facebook stalked you. Your friend list is like looking at the cast of 40 Year Old Virgin.   _

_ (5:17) All of them are from the Academy, boarding school and law school. Friending them was exclusively for networking purposes. I’m not surprised.  _

_ (5:17)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ HA are you always this stuffy or are you going to rip loose when I least expect it?  _

_ (5:17) I like control, but I also like predictability. Take that as you will.  _

_ (5:18)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Well. Hopefully there’s exceptions to that. I’m not particularly controlled, or predictable.  _

_ (5:19) Actually, you’re predictable in the fact that you say what I least expect. It’s refreshing, so far.  _

_ (5:19)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ So far.  _

He ignored that last message, stepping into the shower instead. 

* * *

_ (5:40) You better have said nice things about me to Kylo, Henry. I like him. _

* * *

Saturdays at the office were quiet, mainly because no one actually needed to be there. Exactly why Hux had chosen it. The main conference room would be empty, and he’d have plenty of space to lay out his materials and get his client comfortable. The room was made up almost entirely of windows on one side, and he left them open. It was still early enough that the light hadn’t infiltrated the room fully yet. The sky was a dull pink, smeared with orange and a light purple within the clouds.   

_ (6:00)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Have you had breakfast?  _

_ (6:03) I have a conference call I can’t miss in less than a half hour, but after that?  _

_ (6:05)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ I was going to bring you something, but I’m totally up for going to breakfast with you.  _

_ (6:06) Perfect. I’ll let you know when I’m finished here?  _

_ (6:06)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Sounds good.  _

_ (6:08)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ GUESS WHAT DICKPOPTART I HAVE A DATE. _

_ (6:09) Dickpoptart? Yes I am aware.  _

_ (6:09)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ fuck I meant to send that to my cousin  _

_ (6:09)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ I’m going to go die of embarrassment now omfg  _

_ (6:10) No dying allowed, we have a date and I’m not into necrophilia.  _

_ (6:10)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ I am speechless for the first time in my life congratulations _

_ (6:11) I take pride in my ability to baffle you. Nerf herder.  _

_ (6:12)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ what have I done. I’ve created a monster.  _

_ (6:13) Your mother came up with the term, actually.  _

_ (6:13)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Well yeah but we all knew already my mum has a history of creating monsters. She birthed me.  _

_ (6:14) You were totally an emo kid when you were in school weren’t you?  _

_ (6:14)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Do we ever truly grow out of our emo phases?  _

_ (6:14)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ I’VE BECOME SO NUMB, I CAN’T FEEL YOU THERE _

_ (6:15) Holy shit.   _

_ (6:16)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ BECOME SO TIRED, SO MUCH MORE AWARE _

_ (6:16)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ BY BECOMING THIS _

_ (6:17) All I want to do?  _

_ (6:18)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ IS BE MORE LIKE ME AND BE LESS LIKE YOUUUUUU _

_ (6:19) At least it wasn’t a Rick roll.  _

_ (6:19) And I swear if you do it, I’m going to find out where you live and egg your house. _

_ (6:19)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ It’s my roomie Poe’s house, so… NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP. NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN. _

_ (6:20) Benjamin Amidala Jacen Solo.  _

_ (6:21)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Close enough.  _

Hux shook his head, fixing the binder sitting in front of him and glancing over the materials again. He was ready. This conference call was extremely important. He needed to focus. Still, he couldn’t help but to enjoy talking to Kylo even if he was certainly stranger than he’d expected. 

At the same time, he probably would have stopped talking to him if he were anything else. The mystery of his past and ability to switch from being almost charming to wildly absurd was growing on him. It was enough to get him to agree to a breakfast date instead of just going home to work on his laptop like he did every weekend. He’d been on top of the paperwork, he’d been early in sending in anything that needed to be processed by the court and his opposing counsel. He had time for it. 

Yet work had always been his life, and to think someone else could take some of the time he’d dedicated to it for themselves was a strange thought. 

“Fuck.” Hux mumbled to himself, giving a slight shake of his head and turning back to the work spread out on the desk. It was brighter outside now, the colors shedding away to the standard turquoise of the sky. 

By the time the conference call was over, his back ached from sitting so stiffly and his face felt like it was going to be stuck in a permanent display of neutrality. The call hadn’t gone as well as he’d hoped, but it was something and he has never been one to back down easily. It was easy to pack up, give his client reassurances and head to his car. It was absolutely exhausting sometimes. He’d never realized it so acutely before. 

_ (8:10) Took longer than I thought. Still want to meet me?  _

_ (8:12)  _ _ Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _ Hell yeah I do. I’ll be there in ten?  _

He sent a location to a nearby breakfast place that Hux had heard some fairly good things about. 

_ (8:13) Sounds good. _

He smiled to himself, slipping his sunglasses onto his face and pulling a cigarette from the little pouch tucked next to the shifter. 

_ (8:13) I’m going on a date with someone.  _

_ (8:15)  _ _ Phasma: _ _ Oh? Who’s the pretty girl this time?  _

_ (8:16) His name is Kylo. He’s an actor, not an uptight ass like most of the people I work with. Henry’s doing, naturally.  _

_ (8:16)  _ _ Phasma: _ _ Hmm. I’d like to meet him sometime. Double date with my lady and I?  _

_ (8:17) Don’t go all protective on me Phas, I can handle myself.  _

_ (8:17)  _ _ Phasma: _ _ Last time you fell apart, Hux. I really don’t want that to happen to you again, okay? Just let me meet him. I’ll be gentle unless he pisses me off. I promise.  _

_ (8:18) I shouldn’t have said anything.  _

_ (8:18)  _ _ Phasma: _ _ I just want to do right by you. You always have for me.  _

He shook his head and put the phone in his pocket. His cigarette burned when he pinched it between his fingers and put the rest of it back into the packet it came in. A bad habit, one that he’d tried to break too many times and still hadn’t yet. He blew the smoke out his nose and shook his head again, scoffing to himself before shifting gears.

Tiure ala Tatooine, more commonly referred to as TaT’s was crowded with people but Kylo was hard to miss. He approached, giving a slight smirk as Kylo tilted his head at him. 

“Hello.” Hux greeted him, sitting in the chair across from him. “My friend wants a double date with you to assess if she should kick your ass.”  _ Might as well be straightforward. _

“Hm, wouldn’t been the first time.” Kylo shrugged. “If you like me enough after this first date, why not?” 

“Why do you assume I’m just going to not like you?” Hux asked, “Honest question. I’m surprised you aren’t stuck up honestly.” 

Kylo raised his eyebrows, “Why? Because of the acting thing?” 

“That and you’re good looking.” Hux gave him a level stare, hooking his index finger around Kylo’s cup of coffee and pulling it toward him. “Ugh, you drink your coffee black.” He pushed it back, giving a disgusted look. 

“I’m not.” Kylo shrugged, “Stuck up because of that. And I’m not really good looking. But thanks.” 

“If you were ugly, trust me I’d be the first person to tell you and I certainly wouldn’t be interested in you. I’m not particularly pleasant, even on my good days. So shut up.” He rolls his wrist, relieved when it popped. 

Kylo glanced away from him, fidgeting with the cup. “Well anyway. Uh. Thank you.” 

Hux snorted, “This will cheer you up. Do you ever feel awkward putting your initials on paperwork?” 

Kylo considered it for a moment, confused. “Um, not really. Why?” 

“Because your legal initials are BJs. Excluding Amidala.” 

Kylo’s eyes widened, but the smirk that spread across his face was absolutely worth it. “Holy shit I never realized that before.” 

“I thought you were messing with me.” Hux shrugged, “But it appears you weren’t.” 

“No, it really is. Shit. And yours is BAH. Does that make you a sheep?” 

“Your dog isn’t allowed to herd me into the ocean, fuck off.” 

Kylo’s laugh was loud and rumbling, “Ah see, this is why I like you.” 

“So you’re not a red-haired fetishist. That’s good.” Hux shrugged his coat off onto the seat. 

“That’s true, I’m not.” Kylo said, taking a drink from his cup that Hux had abandoned. “But I think I would do some incredibly dirty things to you.” 

“Calm yourself fuckboy, we haven’t even had breakfast yet.” Hux gave him an absolutely feral smile. “Glad to know, though.” 

Kylo shrugged, “Fair point.” 

His phone buzzed again. He ignored it. “So, tell me something about you.” Hux said, crossing a leg over the other, “Other than the fact that you have incredibly long legs.” 

“Sorry. I even moved to try and give you more room.” Kylo made a face, “Uh. Well. Fuck I dunno, what do you want to know?” 

“I want to know why you think you’re not good looking.” Hux said, staring levelly at him. The waitress took their orders and left after she poured a cup of coffee for Hux. 

“Wow, you’re intense. Look. I didn’t have a fun time in school, okay?” He frowned, “I really liked this guy. He was my best friend, and I practically worshipped the ground he walked on. I was a stupid kid. It took two years for me to work up the courage to ask him to be my boyfriend, and he said yes. Until he started laughing and said it was a joke. All his basketball buddies thought it was fucking hilarious.” He shook his head, pulled out a lighter and lit it for a moment before letting it extinguish. “He apologized to me after a few days, said that he hadn’t meant to hurt my feelings or whatever. We stayed friends for years. He married some girl, has a kid now. I told him I forgave him. I never did though, not really. I think of him whenever people say shit like they think I’m good looking or whatever. I never dated anyone when I was in school. Just couldn’t bring myself to.” 

Hux took a deep breath, looking down at his cup of creamed coffee and took a drink of it. “I do like you. And I do think you’re good looking. I didn’t lie to you.” 

“If I didn’t believe you, I wouldn’t be here right now.” Kylo cleared his throat. The lighter clicked a few more times. “It’s more complicated than that. I really would rather not go into that. I just… don’t know how to connect with people for the most part. You’re the first person I’ve met that just gets it. I had a good feeling about you. I think I’m right.” 

“Did you have a good feeling about the Knights?” Hux asked. 

“No. But I did it anyway, because I’m good at running away from my own problems.” Kylo snorted. “You’re different from that. You have your shit together.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Hux sighed. “I have my own issues. My family and I have this stupid yearly dinner. I can’t stand to see them more often than that. My father is the first Brendol Hux, also a lawyer. Thinks the world should bend to him, and only him. When I was in the Academy I said I wasn’t going to become him, but I guess in a way I still did. I got perfect marks the entire time I was in school. I became a lawyer. I’m good at ripping people apart. So I guess that’s why I win most of my court cases.” 

Kylo smiled, “Did you ever actually spend time with them?” 

“No. Their house was never my house really, except maybe when I was a baby. I grew up far away from them. They don’t know who I am, and I prefer it that way. Never loved them, never will.” 

“Hmm, cold hearted. I like that.” Kylo raised an eyebrow, “Do you love anyone?” 

“Maybe. A few of my friends, I guess. Love isn’t my forte. I never dated much either. It wasn’t interesting to me. Before it was just distracting my schoolwork. Now I suppose I don’t have much of an excuse.” He smirked, “You?” 

“I love my cousin. Her boyfriend won me over, honestly. He’s a good guy but I wouldn’t say I love him. I’d beat his ass if he ever hurt her in any way… but she’d get to him first. A few of my friends. I… uh. I guess I loved some of my family. But it was a long time ago. And there’s no crossing that bridge now that I’ve burned it. Most of my family is gone now anyway.” 

“Is your family just full of unsolved mysteries?” Hux gave him a small smile. 

“Not mysteries. My grandparents, biological and adopted were almost all murdered. The only one who wasn’t was Padmé, and even then everyone said she died of a broken heart because my grandfather was… uh. Not mentally there, really. He was only sane when he died. I’m almost positive he was involved in the mafia in some way, nothing else really ever made sense. And it explains the incredible amount of family murder that went on. Of course, my family didn’t talk about it. He was the shame of the family.” His expression turned bitter, “Probably why I relate to him. I’m the biggest disappointment of the family since my grandfather.” 

“Have you ever considered the fact that maybe it’s your family that is the problem? It’s not all on you, Kylo. There are just some people that, no matter what you do, will always find reasons to blame you.” Hux shrugged, “They’re not worth the fucking time.” 

Kylo groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. “It  _ is _ my fault though, that’s the problem. But thank you. I do appreciate that. Can we change the subject?” 

Hux took another drink of his coffee, nodded. “Go on then, your turn.” 

“Okay here’s a light subject, what’s your favorite treat?” Kylo leaned forward a bit.

“Chocolate.” Hux sighed, “Usually with caramel. If you’re talking dessert. Otherwise, definitely cigarettes. Bullshit at the firm always makes me want one.” 

“I don’t like desserts. But yeah, cigarettes. I have a weakness for crisps as well.” Kylo brushed some of the hair back from his face. 

“How does someone not like dessert?” 

“I just don’t.” Kylo smirked.  

“Phasma will be so disappointed.” Hux joked, “She’d probably want one of those disgustingly domestic scenes in the romance movies. Her girlfriend is into them.” 

“I’ll do the spaghetti kiss with you.” Kylo laughed. “Like in Lady and the Tramp.” 

Hux rolled his eyes, “Wonderful. My own Disney prince.” 

“You know it.” Kylo thanked the waitress, stabbing into his omelet with more violence than it probably deserved. “She’s the double date girl then? What’s she like?” 

“Uh, well. She’s basically a bodybuilder. We went to the Academy together. She’s probably as tall as you are. A vicious fighter, but also one of those annoyingly kind people that will nag you about anything they think is bad for you.” 

“Oh no.” Kylo said sarcastically. 

“She’s been on me for years about smoking. Though she will smoke with me, sometimes. Fucking hypocrite.” It was fond, though. 

“She sounds like a good lady. I’d like to meet her.” 

“I’ll tell her yes, then.” Hux took a bite of his french toast. “Just don’t let her under your skin.” He considered, then decided that it might amuse Kylo. “Should I change your contact name to Real Life Prince, Kylo Ren?” 

He chuckled. “I like Lord of the Dark Side better. I don’t think you want to be Disney Princess Hux.” 

“Dear god.” Hux mumbled dispassionately, getting another laugh out of Kylo. “Definitely not. Beside that, between the two of us you’re certainly the princess.” 

Kylo grinned. “You have no idea.” 

* * *

Hux was never one for patience, and even less for hesitation. He took Kylo’s hand as they left TaT’s, giving a little smirk as Kylo looked over at him in surprise. “No?” Hux asked.

Kylo tightened his fingers around Hux’s. “Yes.” 

He finally glances at his phone. Two messages. 

_ (8:35)  _ _ Phasma: _ _ Just let me know, okay?  _

_ (8:50)  _ _ Henry: _ _ I always talk shit about you though. Jk. Told Kylo you’re an asshole with a heart of gold. He wanted to know if you were actually attracted to him.  _

That hurts him in some deep way he doesn’t really get, but doesn’t mention it to Kylo. He seems happier now that the heavier conversation in the breakfast place was done with. 

“What’s your favorite thing to do on the weekends?” He asks, because he doesn’t want to let Kylo go just yet. 

Kylo raises his eyebrows, “I uh… Okay it sounds really stupid.” 

“That's stopped you before?” Hux smirked.

“Oh fuck off. Okay, I like dogs better but there's this pet adoption place I volunteer for. And I usually take care of the cats, because someone thought it would be cute to make a name pun and it kind of stuck.” He seemed nervous, like volunteering was a bad thing. 

“That's cute. What's the name pun?” 

“Catlo Ren.” It was so disgruntled that Hux couldn't help but to laugh. He gave Hux a dirty look, but it faded into a small smile. “Other than that? I uh.. Build stuff sometimes. Take my bike out when I just want some time to think. I destroy more than I build. I’m kind of good at that kind of thing.” 

“Every time you say that you bike, I think of a bicycle. Not a full metal death machine.” 

“That would be a brilliant fucking band name. But hey, she’s beautiful. I should take you on a ride with her, one day.” He grinned. 

“That would be a terrible band name. As for your machine… I’d like to keep all my limbs, thanks.” Hux mumbled. 

“Ha, I’ve never been in an accident on her, and I’ve had the license for years now. You’d love it.” He nudged Hux with his elbow. Hux playfully squeezed Kylo’s hand harder, but not enough to hurt him. 

“What do you do on the weekends, Mr. Sexy Lawyer?” He smirked. 

“Exactly what you’d expect. Paperwork, research, reading. I’m guilty of watching some television. I go to CLE-- uh continued legal education courses, and sometimes Henry drags me to plays. But I have to admit, the last one I really enjoyed.” 

Kylo grins, brushing his thumb over Hux’s hand. “How boring. I really do need to get you out more. Henry wasn’t kidding.” 

“Henry’s a dick.” Hux said, without true animosity. “I wouldn’t mind volunteering or going on dates, but I’m not ready for your death machine.” 

“Aw.” Kylo chuckled. “Well I’ll take what I can get.” 

Kylo walked with him to his car, leaning against it when they reach it. “I told my cousin I’d build her a new bookcase today. I’m sure she can wait until tonight though.” He said, a little hesitantly. Hux raises an eyebrow, glancing up the short distance between their faces. 

“Is this your way of telling me you don’t want to leave me?” He asked, cheekily. 

Kylo’s face flushed red, and he glanced away from him for a moment before looking back into his face. “Maybe.” 

“I suppose I owe you, for waking you up so early today.” Hux said, casually moving closer to him. His traitorous heart hammered in his chest anyway. 

Kylo closes the distance between them and kisses him directly on his lips. Hux moves his free hand to hold Kylo’s cheek in his hand, his thumb pressed to Kylo’s cheekbone. He shifts his hand, brushing it over his jaw and just briefly against his neck before Kylo jolted away from him. 

“Sorry.” Kylo said, swallowing hard and breathless. “I don’t like my neck touched.”

There’s a story there. Hux doesn’t ask.

“I should have asked.” He said instead, gently pulling Kylo closer again with their linked hands. “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah.” Kylo said, brushing his lips against Hux’s cheek before kissing him again. Hux has never kissed anyone on the first date. Has never even wanted to. And yet, here he is locked lips with this actor he just met in the grand scheme of things. 

Then again, somehow Kylo brings out an impulsive side of him he’s rarely ever seen in himself before. He can’t bring himself to be all that worried.

_ Phasma would be. _

Of course she would. 

“You know, if your friend wants to beat the shit out of me it’s worth it.” Kylo joked like he could hear the thought out loud, hands resting lightly on Hux’s hips.

“She doesn’t.” Hux smirked, “At least not yet.” 

Kylo tasted like coffee, orange and something that was just him. Sweet, but not cloyingly so.  
  
“I won’t give her a reason to.” Kylo mumbled against Hux’s lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took longer than expected but only because real life things caught up with me including two job interviews I'm going to be going to (I'm excited and nervous). I also joined the Kylux Big Bang, so you can expect something non Orderverse related at the end of the event!
> 
> I feel kind of weird about this chapter and I don't know why? Hopefully it's as decent as the rest of the story. I've been having a kind of weird writing experience lately haha. Also thank you for all the subscriptions, kudos and comments. It means a lot to me and you guys are pretty damn awesome. :) 
> 
> Also credits for references:  
> Numb is by Linkin Park  
> Never Gonna Give You Up is by Rick Astley  
> Catlo Ren is something I've only ever seen Space-Emos on Tumblr use, and I love it.  
> Also Disney obviously belongs to Disney.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot happens.
> 
> **WARNING: there are multiple references to past abuse in this chapter, and one reference to previous prescription drug abuse. Please be warned and if it's not your cup of tea, I wanted to give fair warning. **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this taking ages, usually I'm better about it. A lot happened in this week and it was a terrible week, but I'm posting quite a big chapter today so I hope it makes up for it. ♥ Hope you all enjoy.
> 
> Full disclaimer, there may be typos and I apologize. I edited this whole thing multiple times, but sometimes they slip through the cracks. I also had a really hard time with this chapter because A Lot™ happened within the chapter, but it was entirely necessary and will lead to the final resolution of the whole thing! There's still one bombshell in Ren's life that hasn't dropped yet. 
> 
> I give full props if anyone has guessed what it is yet haha.

If any night were the night for Kylo to stand him up, this was definitely not it.

As it was, he didn't stand Hux up. Instead he came in with his long thick hair ruffled in every direction like he had just been wearing a helmet.

“Sorry I was late.” Kylo said, out of breath. He pressed his lips in a quick kiss to Hux’s cheek. They felt cold against his skin. “I was working on my bike and Poe forgot to tell me I had to leave. He was supposed to let me know, but then he fell asleep on the couch.”

“Poe?” Phasma raised her eyebrows. “Who is Poe?”

Hux huffed at her instant protectiveness.

“Uh, my flatmate. And my ex, actually.” Kylo shrugged, “We’re kind of weird people. The ex thing isn't awkward for either of us.”

Phasma narrowed her eyes, “You don't think it's weird to live with your ex and date someone else? It's a serious thing to live with someone.”

Kylo’s upper lip twitched into something resembling a snarl for half a moment before he schooled his expression into something indiscernible. “We’re going to need a lot more drinks.”

“Agreed.” Valaila, Phasma’s insanely powerful yet tiny girlfriend broke in, “How are you doing Catlo?”

Kylo grinned, “I knew I recognized you. I'm good, Val. How is Novingi?”

 Phasma visibly startled, “What did you just ask?”

 “Novingi. Val’s cat, I gave her shots the last time she was in the clinic along with Maul.” Kylo shrugged.

 Phasma blushed, clearing her throat. “Oh, well. I didn't know.”

 Val kicked Kylo under the table. “Way to blow my cover, Kylo Ren.” She frowned, but it was ruined by the fact she laughed afterward. “So Hux huh? Guess you could say you're not Solo anymore.”

 “For fuck’s sake.” Kylo groaned. “That was bad and you should feel bad.”

 “Too bad I don't! Lay off Kylo a little Phas, he's a really good guy. I've seen him go some pretty impressive lengths to help people. Living with his ex isn't that weird if they're friends.”

 “And we are _just_ friends.” Kylo said firmly.

 “Why did you break up?” Phasma asked.

 “Why, pray tell, do you want to talk about exes on a double date?” Hux asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “Doesn’t it seem a little… I don’t know. Weird?”

 “You can learn a lot about someone from their past relationships.” Phasma said, “And beside that, I’m getting to know him. That was the point of this, wasn’t it? To get to know each other better?”

 Kylo sighed, longsufferingly. “We were better friends than lovers. That's all there is to it. No animosity, nothing bad. It’s not even awkward. Just something that happened once.”

 “Was it because you're an asshole?” Phasma smirked.

 “How astute of you.” Kylo snorted, “yes, I'm a dick. And so are you. We’ll get along alright I'm sure.”

 Hux allowed himself to relax a little. Val leaned into his side, putting her head on his shoulder. She was smirking in a way that made him feel like he wasn’t the only one who felt calmer about this situation. Mutual antagonization was far different than one person essentially harassing another.

 “Family life?” Phasma asked.

 “Nonexistent.” Kylo answered.

 “Really? You don’t talk to anyone at all? No family?”

 Kylo glanced at Hux, then back at her. “I talk to my cousin. We used to room together until she moved in with her boyfriend. But sometimes she still stays at my house anyway. As for anyone else? No. I don’t.”

 “Stop,” Hux said, “None of us here, with the exception of maybe Val, gets along with their families all that well. I bet you can garner enough sympathy to stop reaming him about his.”

 She shrugged, “Fair. For now. Criminal record?”

 Kylo gave her a strange look, “No. I’ve never been arrested.”

 Hux knew this to be true only because he’d asked a friend in the police force to run Kylo’s legal name for him. Nothing other than to make sure he wasn’t a deranged psychopath in disguise. It was true that his record was completely clean, but Hux would never actually admit to having looked it up in the first place.

 Phasma moved on fairly swiftly, “Hux said you ride a motorcycle?”

 He put one arm around the back of Hux’s chair, fingertips thrumming on the top of it. “I do.”  

 “Did you build it?”

 Kylo shifted a little in his seat, “Yeah, she’s custom.”

 Phasma raised an eyebrow, “So, what. You just do it for fun? That’s it? Just the one bike?”

 Kylo gave her a rather bitter look, “My bike and my name are my own. Anything else to do with that life died a long time ago.”

 “That life?”

 “I don’t know what you want to hear. I was in a biker club. We were called the Knights of Ren, KoR for short. There were seven of us, including me and excluding our leader. Again, excluding him, we all share the same last name. My brothers and sisters.” He made a vague gesture, “I’m no longer invited to family reunions.”

 Phasma’s face gave away that she wasn’t impressed. “Wow, what do I ask about first? So. Kylo obviously isn’t your real name. You were in a biker club which… tends to be a vicious lifestyle. And what, you did something so heinous your own club kicked you out?”

 Kylo’s eyes narrowed. “It wasn’t something I did. The leader wanted me gone for personal reasons. I was in a biker club, yes. Though the Knights weren’t as violent as other groups. And yes, Kylo Ren was a name I was given. Ren was more like a title, Kylo was my personal name. Exactly like the other six.”

 “What were theirs?” Phasma raised an eyebrow.

 “I’d rather not.” Kylo said, coldly. “I’m no longer a Knight as it stands, but I don’t give away information that isn’t mine to give.” Hux gave her a short headshake.

 “Well. What about tattoos then?” She took a drink of her beer.

 “I have them.” Kylo sounded distant.

 “What kind?”

 Hux could practically feel the frustration roll off of him. “A sword. My grandfather. A symbol I liked once. Soon, I’m getting a lotus done with my cousin’s name on it.”

 “For not being a family guy, you sure have a lot of meaning behind it.” Phasma stated.

 “My grandfather can’t object. He’s been dead for most of my life. My cousin would appreciate it. The sword… well. I was lucky to walk away with it.” Kylo said, tone verging on anger. “So yes, I suppose you’re right. I burned bridges no tattoo or heartfelt apology could ever mend. That’s it. Nothing else can be said about it.”

 “So it’s your parents you have a problem with.” Phasma said.

 “It really doesn’t take fucking Captain Planet to figure that one out.” Kylo started to stand, but Hux gently took his wrist in hand. Kylo met his eyes. _Stay with me. Don’t walk away._ Hux silently asked, holding Kylo’s gaze. His expression softened after a moment, and he sighed as he moved to sit with his side flush against Hux’s. Hux moved his hand to Kylo’s examining the black polish that adorned Kylo’s fingernails. The paint was starting to chip. Kylo’s hand was warm in his own.

 “One more hard question.” Phasma asked, playing with the rim of her beer bottle.

 Kylo stared at her directly, his expression neutral.

 “Have you ever seen anyone die?”

 Kylo froze, crushing Hux’s hand in his grip for a moment before he let go altogether. His spine was rigid, emotions flashing so fast across Kylo’s face he couldn’t actually pinpoint one and put a name to it. “I can’t talk about it. I can’t.” He said, almost in a panic.

 Hux took his hand again, gently reaching up to touch Kylo’s face and tried not to feel somewhat hurt when he jerked his face away from Hux’s hand. He let it fall instead. “It’s okay, we won’t talk about it.”

 Phasma looked alarmed, Val only looked sad.

 “Uh, so the macaroni from here is unexpectedly good for a place that unironically sells Petron.” Val said, reaching around Hux to gently nudge Kylo’s arm. Hux slowly moved his and Kylo’s intertwined hand into his own lap. Kylo smiled at him, a small fragile little thing. He tried, anyway.

 “Let’s move on.” Hux said, firmly. “If you must ask questions, let’s just keep them normal. Right?”

 She rolled her eyes, “Fine. I guess I don’t need to ask favorite color.” She eyed him.

 “Red, for the blood of my enemies.” Kylo said, giving a snort.

 “Not red for the cute ginger you’re dating?” She smirked, but hissed as Hux stepped hard on her food underneath the table.

 “Fuck off Phasma.” Hux muttered, hearing Val giggle.

 “You got me.” Kylo said, giving a small smile at that. “Now if you’re done grilling me, how about you tell me about yourself.”

 Phasma thought for a moment, “Let’s see, I’m in college. My girlfriend is bangin’. I want a chrome metal suit to blind people when I punch the shit out of them. I’m protective as hell, and I _will_ break you if you dare hurt Hux.”

 Kylo shrugged, shocking Hux. “That’s not hard to do. I’m not as reckless as I used to be. The thing about beaten animals is that after a while, the threat of being beaten really doesn’t scare you anymore. But, I like him a lot and Hux isn’t someone I want to lose. So you don’t need to worry about that.” He glanced over at Hux, somewhat nervously. Hux raised an eyebrow, but smiled a little anyway.

 She stared at him, “Fuck, is that why you hate your parents? Why you were so defensive?” There was a tinge of regret in her voice that definitely wasn’t there previously.

 “No. Not them.” Kylo said, sharply. “It was someone else, another time. The point still stands. I’m not going to hurt Hux.”

 Hux looked over at him, all his face freckles and his dark hair falling to his shoulders. And those plush lips and ridiculously expressive eyes. _Fuck, he looked pretty even when he was worked up like that._. “What?” Kylo asked, defensively.

 “What? I can’t admire that you look handsome?” Hux shrugged, enjoying the way Kylo’s cheeks darkened in color. He frowned, shifting uncomfortably.

 “So, Novingi huh? That’s your name.” Kylo asked Phasma, his leg brushing Hux’s as he stretched it out.

 Phasma scowled as Val smirked almost predatorily, “Fuck off, it’s Phasma. Like you’re not Solo or… whatever, you’re Kylo.”

 Kylo snorted, “My legal last name is Solo. Not my first.”

 She rolled her eyes, “Well good for you.”

 Val pouted, “I don’t know why you don’t like Novingi. It reminds me of nova, like you’re my precious star.”

 Kylo gave her a mock disgusted look as Phasma blushed and Hux groaned. “What, you can come up with _that_ and yet you resorted to a Solo pun earlier? Come on Val, step up your game.”

 Val stuck her tongue out at him, “It’s not my fault you have the most unfortunate legal last name.”

 “Really? We volunteer with a guy named Richard Butt and you think my last name is unfortunate?” Kylo asked, incredulously. Val leaned over, putting her face into her arms as she laughed to the verge of tears.

 “You do _not_ work with a guy who could conceivably be called Dick Butt.” Hux said, eying Kylo suspiciously. He leaned closer and smirked.

 “Actually Catlo speaks the truth. Yeah we do volunteer with a Dick Butt.” She wheezed, trying to speak past her laughter.

 “So,” Kylo leaned forward into his face, “Do you want a drink?” He asked. Hux tried not to be disappointed that he hadn’t just gone for the damn kiss. With the emotional turmoil Phasma had just put him through, he couldn’t fault him for wanting some liquor.

 “Sure. A scotch, please.” Hux requested, seeing Val shift forward a little excitedly and unashamedly watching them with interest.

 Kylo gave another tiny smile, pulling away from him to get out of the booth. He walked past the dining area where they sat and headed directly for the bar on the other side. It spoke volumes that he hadn’t just flagged someone down, he’d wanted a physical escape.

 “Really Phasma, you fucking asked if he’d seen someone _die_?” Hux hissed. “Now he’s gone full on awkward and uncomfortable in your company. He’s usually not like this.”

 “It was just a question. I didn’t think it’d trigger him or anything.” She shrugged, but had the decency to look a little ashamed.

 “It’s _death_ Phasma. Typically asking someone if they’ve seen extreme trauma and possibly violence aren’t happy memories. I didn’t think I needed to explain that to you. I’ve never felt the need to ask him something like that. Especially when, you know, he doesn’t _know_ you.”

 Val bit her bottom lip, “For future reference, I think it’s his grandfather. He got kind of upset at work when he was asked about that tattoo before.”  

 Phasma cleared her throat, “Well he seemed fine when he brought it up to us.”

 “He was only angry, no big deal.” Hux said sarcastically, “Honestly you’re lucky he isn’t like most people or he would have just walked away.”

 “I didn’t intend to try and break you up.” Phasma frowned.

 “You could have.” Hux pointed out. “But look, what’s done is done. Let’s just keep it easy the rest of the night. He’s already pretty upset and I would like to not make it worse.”

  _(22:06) You can come back now, I already complained about the way they treated you. I’m sorry._

  _(22:07)_ _Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side:_ _It’s fine._

  _(22:07)_ _Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side:_ _Not your fault._

  _(22:08) Fuck. This didn’t ruin things, right?_

  _(22:08)_ _Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side: _ _No, it didn’t._

 Hux wasn’t encouraged by the short answers, but he didn’t push it.

 Kylo looked collected when he came back with his and Hux’s drinks in hand. Hux thanked him, still didn’t quite know what to do with his hands when Kylo settled next to him and didn’t initiate any touch. He didn’t need it, didn’t even think of it with most people, and yet Kylo’s distance felt like a direct warning buzzer anyway.

 “No thank you kiss?” Phasma teased. Hux shrugged, feeling uneasy. Especially when Kylo’s tapped his foot a few times against the ground in some kind of nervous move. He looked like he was wearing steel-toe, Hux noticed despite himself. Kylo still gave off the impression he just wanted to flee, even if he was feigning nonchalance.

 He took a drink of his scotch, letting the warmth flow through him and glow like embers in a liquid fire. Hux knew if he didn’t intervene, the night would only end in disaster. “So, Kylo. True or false?” He started, noting that Kylo looked pretty apprehensive as he looked over at Hux. “Is plaid really a lesbian thing?”

 Kylo’s surprised laugh warmed Hux further, watching the tension sink out of Kylo’s shoulders if only for a moment. “Uh, well. Excluding lumberjacks I guess I would say it’s true. I have a lot of plaid in my closet though.”

 “You’ve been holding out on us.” Phasma joined in, and Hux was relieved when he smiled a little at her comment.

 “Your turn.” Hux said, nudging Kylo’s side.

 “Hm, well. True or false, you’ve thought about doing drag.”

 Hux raised an eyebrow, “Me? Hell no. You probably could though, with your obscenely long legs. The hourglass figure helps too.”

 “You’ve been looking?” Kylo gave a wink, and it looked so out of place Hux had to laugh.

 "Well it’s hard not to notice, but yes. I have.” Hux admitted, giving him a bit of a smirk.  

 After that Kylo seemed to relax more, even going so far as to dance with Val near the bar area to some intelligible upbeat song. They seemed to be having fun, and getting rather drunk in the process if Val stumbling against Kylo was any indication. He put his arm around her, laughing.

 “You know, he’s sweeter than I expected. I thought he’d go apeshit when I started getting really personal. He didn’t though, he just… I dunno. Had those soulful puppy eyes I guess.” Phasma said, watching them thoughtfully.

 “You mean when you went straight into the deep end and _started_ with horribly personal.” Hux said, giving her a dirty look.

 “Sure whatever, still. I’m surprised. And he’s younger than I thought he would be too. Different looking than I imagined from ‘actor who also rides a motorcycle’.”

 Hux sighed, “Don’t say that in front of him. He’s sensitive about that kind of thing.”  

 Phasma frowned, “Really? He’s self conscious? I didn’t even mean that as a bad thing.”

 Hux watched Kylo, dancing like he was being electrocuted and not even caring and smiling at Val whose peals of laughter were even louder than the sound of the music. “I think a lot happened to him when he was younger. He’s better now though, or getting there.”

  _Or pretending to be rather well anyway._  

 Phasma rubbed the bridge of her nose, giving him a disgruntled look. “Just be careful that his… explosive personality doesn’t change you.  He could either be the best relationship you’ve had, or the worst.”

 “Thanks Dr. Phil.” Hux said, rolling his eyes as he stood. “Let’s join them, shall we?”

* * *

 

It had been a brutally long morning, one of those that started out quickly and then rapidly turned into time seeming to stall and drag on forever. His latest case had gotten complicated, and he waited on the opposition’s reply brief with an increasing lack of patience.

 Oddly enough, Kylo hadn’t responded this morning to anything that he’d said. It would have been easier to ignore if there hadn't been a strange uneasy feeling that had settled since that morning. But then again, maybe he was auditioning for something and had forgotten to mention it. He hoped Kylo’s morning at least had been more interesting than his.

  _(8:12) This is going to be terrible, I just know it. SOS. Tell me about your murdering dog or some other amusing story._

  _(_ _8:56) Actually, I’ll tell an amusing story. My legal assistant was in the break room and one of the asshole attorneys here had the gall to touch her rear. She crushed a jelly donut into his face._

  _(8:57) It gets better. The attorney in question is allergic to strawberries. Which just so happened to be the flavor of donut she had. He has these awful hives and I’m so terribly amused. Couldn’t have happened to a better person._

  _(8:59) He’s getting reviewed, I told the board about it. Fucker deserves it for touching her like that._

 He’d thought Kylo would have responded to the use of the word “rear” at least, but nothing had come from it.

  _(9:43) If I don’t end up breaking someone’s neck, I’ll be impressed._

  _(12:15) Henry claims that if I’m going to do it, I should at least be overseas at the time on a boat so that it’s in international waters. Since there’s no international police force, who can really take the court case on that one. Padmé needs to up her game._

 Neither of which had gotten responses either.

  _(1:11) If this is about what happened with the whole double date thing, I’m sorry._

 He was loathe to ever apologize before knowing if it was even relevant, but he still felt like he owed it to Kylo to try. While he hadn’t been upset the morning after that entire… experience, he wouldn’t have been all that surprised to find out that Kylo was still entirely pissed off and uncomfortable by that night.

 If it had been the other way around, Hux certainly wouldn’t have tolerated it. It spoke volumes about how much shit Kylo had taken in his life.

 He was starting to get concerned. And he was aching for a cigarette, even though he was usually good about not smoking at work. He stood in the doorway of Rey’s office, catching her eye.

 “I'll be outside for a minute or so.” He told her, and turned after she smiled and gave a nod.

 “Okay, if you get any calls I'll let them know you'll get back to them.”

 Hux sighed, pulling a cigarette from its box and lighting it. The burning sensation in his lungs filled some kind of lack.

 He pulled out his phone and dialed Kylo’s number before he could convince himself out of it. He blew the smoke out, watching it disappear into the air.

  _“Hi this is Kylo Ren, legally known as Ben Solo. I'm not available right now, but if you leave your name and number I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks.”_

 Hux frowned, “Hey Kylo, this is Hux. Call back when you can.” He hung up, trying to ignore the dread settling in his stomach. He finished his cigarette, put it out on the old brick of the building and went back inside.

  _(3:17) Have you heard from Kylo?_

  _(3:29)_ _Henry_ _: not today, why? Having a lover’s tiff already?_

  _(3:30) No. Just one of those weird feelings like something weird is going on._

  _(3:30)_ _Henry:_ _It’s called a boner._

  _(3:31) I hate you so much right now._

  _(3:31)_ _Henry:_ _Lmao this is nothing new._

  _(3:31)_ _Henry:_ _Seriously though, he’s probably out on errands or in another play or something. Calm thy calamity that is your mammaries._

  _(3:32) Did you honestly just tell me to calm my tits? In butchered old english?_

  _(3:33)_ _Henry:_ _You can read, you tell me._

  _(3:33) Honestly, what the fuck._

  _(3:33)_ _Henry:_ _Look at all the fux you give._

  _(3:34) Goodbye I am done with this conversation._

  _(3:34)_ _Henry:_ _K see you in like two hours._

 Hux scowled, rolled his eyes at his phone. Kylo would contact him when he wanted to, and in the meantime he could just ignore Henry’s antagonistic attitude.

 Belatedly he realized maybe it was an attempt to distract and amuse him. It had worked, temporarily.

* * *

 

Hux was deep into a review of one of his cases when the loud clatter of what sounded like a hundred things falling in Rey’s office startled him into sitting straight. He heard the noise of her slamming her phone down on its rack, and the clang of her desk chair hitting against her desk in her mad scramble to get out of it.

 “Oh my god.” Rey said, stumbling out of her office in her rush to escape the room. She almost leaves one of her shoes in the doorway in the process. “Hux hurry, please put on your jacket. We need to go.”

 The lack of formality said volumes, with or without the clear panic and the paleness of her face. He stood, pulling his suit jacket off of his chair and following her out. He closed his office door behind them, shaking his head as the main office secretary stood with a questioning look.

 “What happened?” Hux asked, following after her as she rubbed her hands together.

 "Ben’s in the hospital.” She said, her eyes brimming with tears she seemed unwilling to let fall. “It was some kind of accident. He was on his motorcycle.”

  _Ben._ “Wait…” Hux’s eyebrows furrowed, “Ben as in Kylo?”

 “Fuck, Hux. Yes. Kylo Ren, Ben Solo whatever. It’s him. He’s hurt.” She waved her hand dismissively. Hux felt his heart plummet to the bottom of his stomach, an icy chill in its wake.

 “He’s your cousin.” He put two and two together. They’d both mentioned each other as cousins, and he’d noticed similarities but it had never seemed to really matter until that moment. How odd, that their lives had intersected long before they even met each other.

 “Yes, he is.” She put her face in her hands. They were shaking.

 “Let me drive.” Hux said, pulling her to his car instead. “You’re in shock, take deep breaths.”

 “I knew that stupid thing was a death trap.” She curled into his passenger seat, shakily pulling the seatbelt across and buckling it in. “Fuck, how could he be so _stupid_.”

 Hux shrugged, then realized she wasn’t looking at him. “Just relax, Rey. He’ll be alright.” One of his strong points: his lack of panic in emotional stress. The Academy had taken away the ability to lose himself in his emotions. It had made him unable to understand other people’s emotional crises, but it had given him a sort of unbreakable strength. It was useful, if nothing else. “Which hospital?”

 She told him.

 The drive there was mostly silent, except for Rey’s shaky breathing. Her hands gripped the seatbelt tight like a lifeline, her knuckles white with the strain of holding on to it so tightly. “You’re a good guy.” She said quietly, “Out of all the people Ben has ever liked, you’re the only one I approved of. I mean, other than Poe. But they didn't _really_ date. Not like he is with you.”

 Hux glanced at her awkwardly, then back at the road. “Thanks.” He said, finally.

 “He was really surprised you asked for his number. He said that he thinks you’re really hot. He didn’t think he deserved it. I hope you can help him think he’s worth something. Someday.” She sighed.

 “That’s something he needs to work on.” Hux said quietly, “His self esteem. I’m here for him, but I can’t change him. That’s up to him.”

 She nodded.

 Hux _hated_ hospitals. When Hux was young, his father had fallen almost fatally ill at one point. He’d remembered spending so much time staring at the white-beige wall and wondering when death would finally come and take him. Brendol Hux the first was stubborn even on what could have been his death bed, typing away at some little laptop he’d pressured his wife into bringing him.

 “You work until you die, boy.” Brendol had said. “That’s how life is. Like hell if I’m going to let some incompetent baboons take over my life’s work. I don’t know if I’d even ever hand it over to you.”

 He wouldn’t. Of course, he had lived and it hadn’t been necessary. But the next time, when death really came, Hux knew Brendol wouldn’t leave shit to him then either. He’d come to terms with it, even when eight year old Hux had cried and gotten the back of Brendol’s hand to his face.

 That long month or so in the hospital with his father had really put things in perspective.

 The wait for Kylo was quiet, but it seemed to take forever. Hux remembered how much he hated the sanitary scent. It made him feel like it was covering up the scent of death lurking down the halls. He itched to light a cigarette, even though he couldn’t. Rey put her hand on his arm.

 “Rey Skywalker?” A doctor asked, stepping toward them. She nodded, her hand a death grip on his arm as they stood. “He’s just finished with his X-rays, so you’ll be allowed to see him now.”

 “Is anything broken?” She asked, her voice solid.

“He was lucky, most of his injuries are only deep bruising. He does need to wear a neck brace however. The strain in his neck from the whiplash did damage to the ligaments and muscles in his neck. I recommend he wears the brace for as long as he feels the tightness and reduction of range of motion in his neck. It varies, some will feel better in a few days. Some take a few weeks. He’s stubborn, and rather volatile when he’s upset so I suggest someone watches him.” The doctor looked less than pleased, “He should also ice it for several days, and take ibuprofen. Massage may help as well, but it definitely needs to be gentle. He also should keep off of his left leg for a few days, and come see us again if it swells further. It’s hard to tell at this point if the leg is just bruised, or if there is a hairline fracture.” He hesitated, “There’s one other thing.”

 Rey took a deep breath, letting it out quietly. “What is it?”

 The doctor crossed his arms, “When the other motorcycle hit, it flipped Mr. Solo’s bike. I’m not sure what exactly did it, but the gash across his face was deep and took a lot of stitches to close.”

 Hux raised his eyebrows, “In his face? Is he..” _Blind_ just felt so wrong to say out loud.  

 The doctor sighed, “No, he passed the vision test in both eyes. It is possible that he may have complications sometime later in life, but for now I’m confident in saying his eyesight will be just fine. Please do make sure he takes care of his injuries. Oh, and with his medical history I suggest someone monitors his pain medications as well. Room 313 is the one you’re looking for.” He glanced at them both, turned on his heel and walked away.

 Rey stared at the spot the doctor had stood in for a few moments before turning to look at him. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.” She admitted.

 Hux nodded, putting an arm around her shoulder and squeezed gently once. “Do you want to call Finn?” He asked, “He’d probably want to know about this, right?”

 She put her hands over her face, rubbing her eyes in a way that reminded him of Kylo. “Yeah. He would want to know. They’re friends, at least somewhat.”

 “I’ll go in and talk to him.” Hux assured her, watching her nod and turn to the lobby to make her call. He closed his eyes, steadying himself before he knocked and entered Kylo’s room.

 The bandages went all the way across his face. He had his eyes closed, the neck brace probably stopping him from turning to look at the door. He laid rather stiffly, hands clenched into fists. Hux closed the door, quietly walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed.

 “Don’t look at me.” Kylo said, quietly.

 “Why?” Hux asked, remembering their conversation the first time they had breakfast together. _Fuck that._ He took Kylo’s hand silently and unclenching it from it’s hard fist. Kylo didn’t resist him. “There’s nothing wrong with battle scars. In fact, they’re pretty sexy if you ask me.”

 Kylo opened his visible eye, staring directly at him. His pupil was enormous, almost overtaking the iris in his eye. The pain medication, probably. “Well. I’m going to have several of those.” He said, still sounding desolate.

 Hux stood, leaning over him to kiss the visible part of his forehead. “Yes, you will. Does it hurt?” He asked, watching his expression.

 “Not really.” Kylo sighed, “It’s more annoying to have this fucking thing around my neck. I feel like I’m being choked. Not that it’s the first time, but… not my favorite memories.”

 Hux raised his eyebrows. The resistance to touches on his neck, he remembered. “Good to know. I can’t do anything about the brace, though.” Kylo’s nail polish was completely destroyed. His skin was red from the scratches across them. “So, you’ve never had an accident on your bike. Then suddenly it happens. Was it _really_ an accident?” His tone was set firmly in no-bullshit mode, “Kylo, something serious happened and I want to know what it is and why.”

 Kylo gave him a rather unimpressed look for someone with his face half-bandaged. “It was an accident, Hux. That’s it.”

 “You really think I’m that stupid?” Hux asked, tone hard. “Is this about your old biking club?”

 Kylo let out a long hiss of a sigh. “Hux, no. Okay? Most of them think I’m dead and for very good reason.”

 “Most of them? So not all.”  

 “Most of them. One knows I’m alive and he wouldn’t have done this to me. I know that for absolute fact. Are you even going to stick around?” Kylo asked, “After all of this? Would you even need to know if you just walked away?”

 “For fuck’s sake Kylo!” Hux snapped, “I’m not walking out on you. Stop pitying yourself and accept it already.”

 Rey was frozen in the doorway, her hand intertwined with Finn’s. Finn smiled tentatively, glancing between he and Kylo. Hux gave a nod, looking back at Kylo who refused to meet his eyes.

 “When you see my face--” He started.

 “I don't care. Because you’re still Kylo Ren, or Ben Solo or whatever. You’re still _mine_ and I won’t just walk away from you because of a scar. You know what does make me angry? The fact that you keep dodging questions to protect me from the truth or whatever bullshit you’ve made up, when in reality I am your boyfriend and I want to know because I care. If you just don’t trust me, fine. But don’t lie to me.”

 He had the decency to look guilty. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just… fuck.” He closed his eye. “I know. You’re right, you should know the whole story. And I will tell you, I just can’t. Not right now. And I can’t give the name of that person who knows, because it’s not mine to give. Thank you. I’m sorry.”

 Hux huffed, moving over for Rey to lean over him and fuss at his bandages. “I told you that thing was terrible.” She told Kylo, “Now look what happened.”

 Finn patted his shoulder, briefly. “He’ll be okay. Kylo’s pretty capable of taking care of himself.”

 Hux wanted to laugh, but he didn’t. “When he needs to.” He agreed, instead.

 “You look like you need a coffee.” Finn said, motioning to Kylo and Rey who argued furiously, but Hux could also tell both of them were relieved to have each other close.

 “I definitely do.” Hux said, tiredly. “Let me get you and Rey something as well?”

 Finn smiled widely at him. “Only if we can bring dinner later while we crowd around Kylo’s hospital bed. He’s going to hate it.” It was said with a measure of affection, but also exasperation. Hux understood that combination.

 Hux smirked. “You have yourself a deal.”

* * *

Two weeks later, the scar across his face was raised and red but thin. He was lucky he hadn’t lost either of his eyes. Kylo was depressed over it naturally, but seemed to quiet a little about it when Hux found some scar reducing medication for him to try.

 “It won’t fade completely.” Hux shrugged, “But it will help it be less noticeable. At some point you could probably even put concealer over it, if you wanted to.”

 “I don’t understand why you’re not disgusted by it.” Kylo eyed him.

 “Because like I said, it’s kind of hot.” Hux shook his head, “Now take your pain meds.”

 Kylo sighed, leaning back in Hux’s leather chair. He was obviously uncomfortable, especially with the neck brace, but he seemed to be getting used to being taken care of by both Hux and Rey-- who he’d insisted on giving time off.

 “I have a question you probably don’t want to answer.” Hux warned, handing him the pill and a glass of water.

 “About my neck?” Kylo asked, obviously disgruntled.

 “I put two and two together on that one. No, about something the doctor said to me.” He crossed his arms, “He told Rey and I to monitor your pain medication given your medical history.”

 Kylo snorted, swallowing down the pill. “You’re not going to like the answer.”

 Hux sat on the edge of his desk, meeting Kylo’s eyes. “I’m pretty sure I already know. And if I’m right, you lied to me.”

 “I did.” Kylo frowned, “Because I was young, stupid and thought I was invincible. I lived with a goddamn biker club that only kept me around because I was the leader’s uhh... Yeah, I went to pill parties where they handed out what they called ‘trail mix’. It was a bunch of different pills put into one bag and people cocktailed them to get high. I did it a few times. I’m already pretty resistant to pain medication, but yeah it didn’t help. I was never addicted to anything. But I abused prescription medication, and I’m pretty sure the hospital found out about it when--”

 “When, what?” Hux asked, coldly.

 “Fuck. Can I take a rain check on that story?” Kylo groaned, “You’re already pissed.”

 “You lied to me, yeah I’m angry.”

 “I don’t do drugs anymore. It wouldn’t be in your life, so yeah I omitted to you that I did pharm parties when I was a teenager and got so high I didn’t even remember who I was. I realize it was fucked up.”

 Hux frowned, “Why should I believe you haven’t done it since?”

 “Because I haven’t.” Kylo slams his hand on the desk hard enough to rattle everything on it. “For fuck’s sake, I didn’t want to mention it because it was something that I was ashamed of. Okay? I did a _lot_ of things I shouldn’t have when I was with them. I did things I don’t ever want to repeat. To anyone. Especially not to someone I like so much.”

 Hux lights a cigarette, because it seems the appropriate response to his head pounding. He takes a breath, inhales deeply and lets the smoke pour out. Kylo takes it from his fingertips and takes his own deep breath of it. “If you hated me, you’d have kicked me out by now.” Kylo said quietly.

 “I like you.” Hux said, taking his cigarette back. “And I suppose I get it. The whole… teenage rebellion thing. You confessed right away to lying to me instead of continuing to lie, but that doesn’t make it okay. I won’t tolerate it again. I don’t date liars.”

 Kylo sighs, but at least he did nod.

 “What did you cut off? You were the leader’s what?” Hux questioned, passing the cigarette back to Kylo when he’d taken another drag of it.

 “Are you sure you want to know?” Kylo asked, not meeting his eyes.

 “Yeah.”

 “He was my master.” Kylo crosses one of his absurdly long legs over the other. “God you’re going to think I’m insanely fucked up. He was into BDSM, but… like the bad kind. The not caring about your partner at all kind. Some really kinky shit, and I was… not at all ready for that, honestly but it took me years to realize it.”

 Hux nodded to himself, “I don’t think you’re fucked up. You’re into what you’re into. But when you say it like that, it sounds less like BDSM and more like being abused.”

 Kylo glanced at him, then away. “I don’t think so. Some of it was okay. Some of it I liked. But he went too far. He was one of the shitty ones, you know? The ones that don’t care about your well-being or safe words or anything like that. I was in too deep, and I was afraid of him. For good reason. His favorite thing was uh.. choking. I liked it, sometimes. But not when he nearly crushed my windpipe with my collar. I got jumpy about it. He made fun of me.”

 “Kylo.” Hux said, because the distant yet vaguely murderous expression he had was terrifying, “You don’t need to explain more. I get it. Stop.”

 He growled, nearly crushing the cigarette. “You still want me?”

 “Stop fishing for compliments, you know I do.” Hux rolled his eyes, taking the cigarette back before he burnt himself. “Your scar, and your ridiculously long limbs and your stupid bike-- rest in peace pretty metal deathtrap-- and your bitchy attitude. All of it. I wouldn’t be taking care of you right now if I felt any differently, you enormous baby.”

 He smirked, “You called me baby.”

 Hux put out the cigarette with his fingertips and flicked the butt of it at him. He laughed when Kylo flung it away in surprise.

 “I called you _a_ baby because you are. An overgrown child who didn’t get enough coddling.” He leaned over, kissing Kylo’s forehead before stretching. “And it’s almost time for bed so hurry the fuck up.”

 “It’s ten at night.” Kylo frowned.

 “I have legal shit to do.” Hux pointed out, “So if you really want to stay up go in the living room. Wake me up if you need anything.”

 Kylo smirked, “What if I need a good fuck?”

 “Then I’m going to tell you to get yourself off.” Hux glared at him, “You’re still injured, and my flatmate is not above coming in here with the fire hydrant and spraying it over everything I own.”

 Hux ignored Kylo’s pout and what frankly should be illegal levels of feigned innocence in one look, but couldn’t help a laugh as Kylo pulled him closer to kiss the side of his face albeit awkwardly. “Fine.” Kylo mumbled into his ear before pulling away.

* * *

 

“I have to admit I’m curious.” Hux mumbled against the skin of Kylo’s back. His hand was comfortable on Kylo’s side, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing.

 “About what?” Kylo said, voice rough with tiredness. He’d almost been asleep, finally. The man had been awake until probably three in the morning. Hux should be asleep, but he just couldn’t force himself to drop into that darkness.

 He kept thinking of the fact Kylo had said that most of his old biker group had thought he was dead, _for good reason._ Why would they think that? Why could Kylo want them to?  

 “The scars.” He stroked the deep scar just under Kylo’s left pec, a circular mark that was white with age but still cratered into his skin. A reminder of something that had nearly killed him. It was a deep wound, one that had probably taken a long surgery to close. He shifted his hand lower to his side just above his hip, tracking that scar too. A circular mark, also deep in his skin. Kylo shifted, moved Hux’s hand instead back over his heart.

 “What do you want to know about them?” His voice was dark. His heart thudded hard in his chest, much faster than it had been a few moments ago.

 “Was this him?” Hux asked softly. Kylo’s hand tightened around his, almost a crushing grip. Hux bit his bottom lip, refused to say anything about it. He shifted to see Kylo’s face, seeing that his expression was distant. “Your old leader?”

“He tried to kill me.” Kylo said, just as quietly. His grip on Hux’s hand loosened. “He grabbed me by the throat, then the hair when he could get ahold of it. I was used to giving him power, obviously. This felt… different though. I can’t explain it. Then he pulled me down to the ground. I fought him. I bit him. I knew he was going to…” He shook his head, once, “He shot me in the side. Not even in the face like I thought he would. I let go. Then he shot me in the fucking chest. Told me that it was over. He told me to close my eyes and accept it, just let the darkness take me. That I should be put down like the feral animal I am.”

 Hux felt Kylo shake, a tiny movement but still one that had him moving to curl around Kylo’s back. He pressed closer, kissing just under Kylo’s ear. He could still feel Kylo’s heart pounding in his chest.

 “The Supreme Leader.” Kylo said, bitterly. “But one of the Knights… the one who knows I’m still alive dumped me at the hospital. He was ordered not to. We were friends though, despite everything. He risked it all to save me. When I was healed enough I went back to try and get revenge I guess, or something equally as stupid. But the entire place was abandoned. Like it was all some fucked up dream.”

 Hux deliberately moved his hand to slowly cup Kylo’s cheek and turn his face toward his own.

 “Fuck those people.” He said, harshly. “You deserve better.”

 Kylo smiled, awkwardly turning a little to kiss him and pull Hux to encourage him to lay half on top of him instead. “Thanks. But yeah, it’s… there. Permanently. I’m kinda lucky they didn’t skin my tattoo off my back. I’ve seen it happen more than a few times when people were kicked out. He threatened it.. But he said it didn’t matter if I was dead anyway.”

 Hux sighed, “How can you stand to still be called Kylo Ren? After your own people did that to you?”

 “Because… it feels more right than being called Ben. I’m not Ben, really. Ben just feels like a different person, a different life that my family knew. Kylo Ren is just something new, someone else who belonged to something real. It’s someone else. I’d rather be anyone else than Ben Solo.”

 Hux held his gaze for a long moment, than gave a short nod. “I suppose I understand that.”

 “Going by Hux instead of Brendol?” Kylo asked.

 “Yeah. It just feels wrong. I have no attachment to my father. I don’t want that reminder that I’m his son, that I followed in his footsteps. Hux feels more like my name than a surname.”

 Kylo made a noise of agreement. “I like Hux.” He said.

 “Well good. That’s my name.” Hux snorted.

 “Did you know that you have an endearing and annoying ability to turn every emotional moment into a sarcastic one?” Kylo smirked.

 “Did you notice that you have at least eight times the emotional range than I do?” Hux raised an eyebrow. “I have no idea how you do it. Watching you get emotional is exhausting.”

 “Ohh, so manly.” Kylo playfully bit at his chin, kissing the spot after he did. “It’s not a bad thing to have feelings, you know.”

 “It is when you’re a gigantic baby about it.” Hux grumbled, laughing a little despite himself when Kylo bit at his neck instead.

 “Rude. You keep calling me that, and yet I don’t think you’re actually insulting me.” He mumbled into Hux’s skin.

 “I’m not.” Hux brushed his lips against Kylo’s forehead gently, mindful of the scar that spread there.

 “Honestly any normal person would have broken up with me, before they knew any of this. Way before.” Kylo mumbled.

 “I’m not normal.” Hux said, brushing a hand through Kylo’s hair. “Can I ask you a very personal question?”

 Kylo gave a snort. “I suppose I owe you.”

 “I don’t want the answer because you owe me. I want you to tell me because you trust me.”

 “...Right.” Kylo said, hesitantly. “What is it?”

 “That one night, weeks ago. Val said that you’d gotten upset when you were asked about the tattoo of your grandfather.” Hux told him, “I don’t think it was actually because of your grandfather. It doesn’t fit the attitude you had when you talked about him to me.”

 Kylo stared at him, expression conflicted in away Hux couldn’t read. “That’s not a question.”

 “What aren’t you telling me?” Hux asked.

 “Can we not?” Kylo frowned, “Not because I don’t trust you, but--”

 “You say that a lot.”

 “What?” Kylo asked.

 “That it’s not because you don’t trust me. What is it then?”

 “I haven’t talked about what you’re asking me about, ever. To anyone.” Kylo said harshly, “It was the reason I walked out on my parents. It was the reason I joined the Knights of Ren. I’m not going to just magically feel okay and feel open to talking about it. Okay? It doesn’t matter how much I like you. I’m not going to.”

 Hux could feel the little twitch in his face that happened when he was particularly worked up. He sat up, gently pushing Kylo away as he did so and got out of the bed.

 “Where are you going?” Kylo asked, in a completely different tone of voice.

 “Smoking.” Hux said as he stepped out of the bedroom. “If you’ll just give me a few minutes to myself.” He added, as Kylo started to get out of bed. He hesitated, looking lost.

 “Oh, okay.” He sounded lost.

  _(3:48)_ _Henry_ _: You should have just gone with fucking. Hearing you argue was more irritating. At least hearing OHH HUX~ would have made me laugh._

  _(_ _3:49) Sorry. Go back to sleep._

  _(3:50)_ _Henry:_ _I’m already up, fucker. That shower is mine now._

  _(3:50) Congratulations, there are two showers. Moron._

  _(3:51)_ _Henry:_ _Well maybe I’d be able to think of my flatmate and his neurotic boyfriend could shut the fuck up in the middle of the night, eh?_

  _(3:51) I’m crying on the inside for you. I swear._

  _(3:51)_ _Henry:_ _You’re lucky I keep you around for your snark, gingersnaps._

  _(3:52) Wow._

 He savored the cigarette more than he probably normally would. It didn’t matter. When he came back in, Kylo was asleep. The medication had probably kicked in and knocked him out quicker than anything else could.

 He wouldn’t talk about it. Even above the things the leader of the Knights of Ren had done to him. Even above the truth behind his scars, he wouldn’t talk about this one thing.

 He wondered if it was really all that important to know anyway. Did it matter if he knew this one thing? So what if he got upset about his grandfather’s tattoo. He had been too young to be part of his grandfather’s connections if he’d truly been part of a mafia. So what had it mattered? What would it matter in the future?

 There was no point in being angry about it. Or disappointed that after all they’d been through in the short time of their relationship, Kylo still didn’t trust him. Not about the tattoo, but about all the things he’d consistently put off telling him. Taking rain checks on every problematic thing that came up. He didn’t want to get attached to someone who was going to end up being some kind of person Hux didn’t want to associate with later on.

 It was too late to turn back though, he was already attached by this point.  
  
“Brat.” Hux muttered, gently brushing some hair out of Kylo’s face. He didn’t stir.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full confession:  
> I thought the name Novingi was adorable. It is as outlandish as Phasma but it was good for some amusement.  
> Val and Kylo have a really fun friendship to write.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter can be accurate summed up with:  
> What is Kylo's darkest secret?  
> Who arrives at Hux's law firm?  
> Why does Ms. Leslie get so pissed if she doesn't have her muffin? (Just kidding, the world may never know). 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed the ride, thank you for all your comments and kudos and questions ♥ You all are wonderful and I enjoyed writing it. I can't believe it's actually finished!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Past character death, drowning, past trauma, near death experience, survivor's guilt, unhealthy coping mechanisms. 
> 
> Hux being pushy and Henry being the comedic relief also included. 
> 
> Tom Petty's "Refugee" helped me through the long tedious editing process and finishing up all I needed to finish.

“I miss riding my bike.” Kylo sulked, sitting on the edge of the exam bed. “It was good stress relief. I’m driving myself fucking crazy.”

“Pretty sure you succeeded at that a long time ago.” Hux said, one leg crossed over the other as he eyed Kylo sitting in his gown. “You probably shouldn’t lean forward like that, your ass will hang out of that gown.”

“Well I have a nice ass, so I’m not all that concerned.” Kylo glared over at him. “Why do I have to get more X-rays again?”

 “Because they don’t know if your leg was fractured.” Hux sighed, “This is just to make sure.”

“I’m just limping, it’s not that big of a deal.” Kylo crossed his arms across his chest.

“Let’s just be sure. You’re already here.”

The doctor raised his eyebrow at Hux as he entered the room, but turned his attention to Kylo. “Alright, so I’m going to need you to turn on your side so that I can turn the X-ray machine on your leg. How bad is the pain?”

“I don’t want medications.” Kylo glared. “I’ve been on enough.”

“If you need surgery to set your leg, pain medications are recommended.” The doctor fiddled with the X-ray machine, “However we won’t prescribe anything for you today provided that you’re comfortable and nothing is abnormal.”

Kylo glanced over at Hux, the tips of his ears reddening. “Well it’s not like this is the first time you’ve seen me in my underwear.”

“Now you get shy?” Hux asked, amused. “Take the damn X-ray, Kylo.”

He sighed, shifting awkwardly with his neck brace to lay down and allow his leg to be adjusted. There were a few loud thrums as the doctor moved away and clicked a button on the wall. Hux pointedly did not look at the very built ass of his boyfriend, though it was entirely tempting.

The doctor nodded to them with a, “I’ll be back shortly after I’ve taken a look at these.” And left.

Kylo grumbled, pulling the hospital gown over his briefs and eying Hux with a disgruntled expression. “I hate hospitals.”

“Is there anything you don’t hate?” Hux smirked.

“You.” Kylo said instantly, and turned red.

* * *

It turns out Kylo had been right, he’d retained a lot of very deep bruising from the accident but his leg was still intact. Which, honestly, is a miracle considering what could have happened. Kylo is relatively unscathed, other than the deep cut dividing his face.

He avoids looking into the mirror, but pretends he is when he’s around Hux anyway.

While he goes to try and find something to make lunch with, he hears Kylo turning on the radio and plugging in his phone. Slow music flows into the room, making Hux turn his head to look at Kylo questioningly.

He smiles, shakes his head and takes Hux’s hand to pull him closer.

 Hux steadfastly does _not_ allow himself to blush, and instead tucks his head against the curve of Kylo’s shoulder. After a long moment, Kylo gently cups the back of his head and rests it comfortably against the intersection of his neck and his shoulder. Like he can hear Hux’s instant internal protest of concern he says, “I trust you.” He puts his hand back on Hux’s lower back, just above the curve of his rear.  

 Slowly, Kylo guides their awkward shuffle into an actual slow dance. The kind Hux would have scoffed at for being so very prom-like if it had been anyone but Kylo. “Wise men say only fools rush in, Hux.” Kylo mutters lowly into his ear.

 Hux feels like he’s been gut-punched in a breathless sort of way when he realizes exactly what song Kylo had put on and is parroting.

 “But I can’t help falling in love with you.” Kylo finishes, kissing the side of his face.

 Hux pulls his face away from Kylo’s shoulder to meet his gaze, looking far too smug with himself. “How?” He asks, because there’s absolutely no way that Kylo could have known that once-- when he was very young-- he’d always wanted to slow dance to this exact song.

 “Magic.” Kylo tells him, and kisses him.

 He thinks maybe he believes it.

* * *

 

Kylo’s hands against his lower back and side are searing heat against the cold air of the room. Hux doesn’t want to stop kissing Kylo, so he doesn’t. He’s gentle with his kisses against the still-stitched skin of Kylo’s face, but against Kylo’s lips is a whole other story. Kylo doesn’t seem to mind.

 Hux is careful to keep his hands away from Kylo’s neck, even to brush hair away. It’s one thing for Kylo to invite his touch there, but another to try it actively. Instead, he traces Kylo’s sides, back, hips, wherever he could reach.He nuzzles his face into Kylo’s hair, shivering at Kylo’s lips on his own neck. He lifts his head, tilting it to meet Hux’s eyes again.

 

“Would you want to fuck me?” He questions, openly. Hux raises his eyebrows, despite himself. He’d known a similar question would come up when Kylo had consistently been at his place since the accident.

 He’d expected it to be permission to take him instead, not what Kylo was offering.

 “Not if you didn’t want it.” Hux said, brushing a hand through his soft thick locks again.

 “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t. If I hadn’t thought about it. If I hadn’t gotten off thinking about it.” He gives a gentle bite to Hux’s chin, kissing the spot he’d bitten.

 “Kylo,” Hux says, holding eye contact and carefully putting his hand on Kylo’s cheek. “If that’s what you want, absolutely. But honestly, I thought you would be more comfortable if I bottomed. I want to give you control.”

 He looks completely confused. “You would? I mean, you do?”

 “Yes.” Hux realizes, belatedly that he’d once promised Henry that he wouldn’t fuck anyone in the flat. It seems that was about to go out the window.

 Kylo stares at him for a long moment before leaning forward and kissing him reverently. “Can I?” He asks, sounding like he’d been given a gift. Internally Hux cursed Kylo’s leader, anyone who had ever made him feel like he was just a toy, anyone who had ever pushed him into doing anything he didn’t want to do.

 “Yes.” He said, kissing him firmly and smiling a little as Kylo moved over him and carefully adjusted Hux’s thighs on either side of his hips.

 Kylo is nothing but gentle, even when Hux wants him to move faster, move harder, press deeper anything-- but he doesn’t pressure Kylo with it because all he can think about is the look on Kylo’s face when he told Hux that he’d been collared and laughed at when it’d hurt him.

 So he tolerates the too gentle slowness since he’s hard anyway. Kylo’s expression is so intense, so severe, so obviously fascinated that Hux wants to hold onto it forever and never let it go.

  _Shit._ He thinks, with the realization hitting as hard as a freight train, _I’m in way too deep._ Phasma and Val would be ecstatic of course, Henry would probably make jokes about it forever. But it really wouldn’t matter if he could keep this ridiculous too-emotional manchild of a nuisance at his side. Despite all of his flaws, he had a rather lot of good points too.

 Maybe he knew about them, maybe he didn’t.

 “You’re in your head.” Kylo says, and it’s the oddest thing he’s ever been told while having three fingers up his ass before.

 “Should I be in yours?” He asks, eyebrows raised.

 “No. I’m just wondering what you were thinking, if I should be doing more.” Kylo smiles, anyway.

 “I was thinking of murder.” When Kylo huffs out a startled sort of laugh, Hux says, “No. I’m just enjoying it, really. But you could definitely be a little… firmer. And just fuck me.”

 Kylo gives him a predatory look, leaning forward to nearly touch Hux’s nose with his lips. “I could.” He says, voice low and deeper than it had been moments before. “If that’s what you want. Are you ready?”

 “Hell yeah, I’m ready.” Hux says, his own voice dropping down into huskiness as Kylo reaches the rest of the way to kiss his lips.

* * *

 

Henry, of course, will never let them live it down.

 “This is your fault Kylo,” He says, nudging into his shoulder and nearly making him drop his spoon full of cereal. “I had him trained not to bring anyone home or get some bump and grind--”

 “Some _what_?” Hux interjects, but Henry is relentless.

 “--and then you stroll along, rock my play and turn my lovely quiet little roommate into a deviant.”

 “He was a deviant long before I got to him.” Kylo smirks, eating his cereal and looking all too pleased with himself.

 “I can’t believe this. I was up all night listening to you two go on and on.” Henry says, with some inappropriate gestures.

 “Let it go, Henry.” Hux sighs, feeling his face warm. He doesn’t want to blush, so naturally that’s exactly what his body decides to do. Traitor.

“Oh no if it were the other way around you’d be screaming at me for weeks.” Henry says, though he’s grinning and at least humoring the situation.

 “That’s true, but I’m a hypocrite.” Hux admits freely.

 “He’s a lawyer.” Kylo adds, and Hux kicks him under the table. Gently. Because he knows that Kylo still hasn’t completely recovered from all of his bruising, despite what he’d have everyone believe.

 Kylo smirks at him. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”

 “Whatever,” Hux says, though he isn’t actually angry, “I have to head into work. Your cousin is probably already waiting for me. That girl has better work ethic than most of the lawyers I know.”

 Kylo smiles fondly, “Yeah, she’s a good person. Better than the rest of our family combined.”

 There’s a moment where Henry wants to make a quip, but Hux faintly shakes his head. The topic of family has always been complicated, and he doesn’t want to be late. He will be, if they start down that road.

 “Don’t cause trouble.” Hux grumbles, bending-- not far, because Kylo is a giant of a man if nothing else-- and kissing his forehead. “I’ll be back later. If anything is destroyed, I’m instantly blaming you.”

 “What if it’s Millie?” Kylo raises an eyebrow.

 “I’m still blaming you.” Hux tells him, deadpan. "Millie can do no wrong. You however..."

 “Real housewives.” Henry announces, giving Hux the finger as he leaves the room.

 “Neither of us are housewives.” Kylo rolls his eyes, but it’s futile. “I’ll probably head home soon. Call me if you need anything?” He asks.

 “You can’t drive right now.” Hux points out.

 “I can walk.”

 “You’re stubborn, and kind of a jackass. I’ll drive you, and then head to work.” Hux motions for him to get up, noticing Kylo’s valiant bid to not let Hux see him grip the table as he gets up. What they’d gotten up to probably hadn’t helped him any. Hux moves Kylo’s arm around his waist instead, offering him support.

 “You don’t need--”

 “I don’t, but I’m going to. So save it.” Hux informs him.

 “Already like a married couple~” Henry calls in a sing-song tone from the next room.

 Hux decides he’s going to send Henry at least fifteen middle finger emojis before the day is over. As much as he hates the damnable things, they have their purpose. And this is definitely one of them.   

* * *

 

As predicted, Rey is waiting for him outside of the building when he finally arrives.

 “Mr. Hux.” She says, holding a styrofoam cup holder with two cups, and two muffins neatly arranged into it.

 “Ms. Skywalker.” He smiles, opening the door for her. “Kylo says hello.”

 She smiles, and it strikes him how much they look alike when they look so exasperatedly fond. “He’s still at your place then?”

 “I just dropped him off at he and his flat-mate’s house, but yes he has been staying with me.”

 She gives him a knowing look, but shakes her head before saying anything. He’s glad for it, after Henry’s lack of tact.

 He sent 15 middle finger emojis exactly, just as planned.

 _(7:03 AM)_ _Henry:_ _HA Kylo’s dick was good enough to make you start using emojis? I ought to thank him for loosening you up. Eh? EHHHH?_

_(7:04 AM) UGH. No do not text him anything, you wanker._

_(7:05 AM)_ _Henry:_ _Oi, he was my friend before he became your boyfriend. ;)_

_(7:05 AM) Don’t remind me._

Separately, he sent.

_(7:07 AM) If Henry texts you something vulgar don’t indulge him._

_(7:07 AM)_ _Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side:_ _lol what?_

_(7:08 AM) You read what I said!_

_(7:09 AM)_ _Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side:_ _but honey, vulgar is so much fun ;))_

_(7:09 AM) That’s it, you’re not sleeping in my bed anymore._

_(7:09 AM)_ _Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side:_ _:(((_

Rey leaves her office to go into the main office, her short heels tapping quickly on the floor as she passes him without looking his way. He shrugs to himself, settling into his desk chair and pulling up all of his recent documents that had been filed with the courts. Rey had been quick to email attachments to his inbox on a need-to-know basis, with varying levels of importance. Likely from her phone, since the ones from that morning she hadn’t been in the office for.

He didn’t know how he’d been lucky enough for her to show up one day and offer a resume to him, but he was grateful he’d given her the chance.

His coffee was still warm, muffin waiting to be devoured settled snugly against the edge of his keyboard, and he was halfway through writing an order when he heard hushed talking and then a woman cough from the lobby.

Rey approached apprehensively standing in his doorway as she reached it, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth and tears brimming in her eyes. Instantly, Hux knew there was something terribly wrong.

“What happened?” He asked, standing and not even bothering with formality. No one else stood in the office witnessing this, and he wouldn’t have cared even if they did.

“There’s a man here to see you.” She said, voice shaking. “He’s… it’s not professional. I mean, he didn’t make an appointment so I didn’t schedule him, but…” She trailed off, pressing her fingers to her lips. Her eyes pleaded with him.

“Let him in.” Hux said, adjusting his suit jacket.

“Thank you.” She said so quietly that he thought he imagined it, for a moment. She turned away from him and back out into the main building.

Whatever it was that was coming, he wasn’t quite sure he was ready for it.

A greying brown haired man followed Rey back into his office, and she refused to meet his eyes as she said formally, “Mr. Hux, this is Mr. Han Solo. He wishes to speak with you.”

 _Solo._ He immediately thinks of it, when Kylo had said, “ _Kylo Ren isn’t my legal name. It’s my stage name. But… I prefer it. Ben Solo just sounds fucking terrible.”_

Hux glances at him, noting his eye color and the way his facial features matched his son’s. Kylo’s were softer somehow, but the resemblance was obvious. “Thank you Ms. Skywalker.” He said, giving her the dismissal she was silently asking for. Instantly she vanished into her own office and shut the door, refusing to meet his eyes.

He reaches a hand across the desk, grasping the man’s in a firm handshake. “It’s nice to meet you.” Hux said, not bothering to play the game and pretend he didn’t know who this man was. “Though I don’t know why you would want to see me, Kylo doesn’t work here.”

“His name is Ben.” Solo said, eyes narrowing. “Not Kylo Ren.”

“I go by what he prefers, with all due respect.” Hux said, crossing his arms. “Please, sit. Did the front staff offer you water or coffee?” He sank down into his leather chair only when Solo had sat down first.

“Cut the bullshit, you know I’m not here for that, _Hux_ .” He glances at the nameplate like it’s a personal insult, before looking back into his face. “Ben has made it clear he won’t talk to me.” He leaned forward, “I _do_ want to talk to him, I want to hear his side of the story... and you’d be the one most likely to know it.”

“His side of what story?” Hux asked, coldly. “And forgive me, but if your son refuses to talk to you and moved away from you I would think that would be enough of a hint for you--”

"About Anakin.” Solo said, cutting him off.

“As far as I know, his grandfather died before he was born.” Hux said, with some confusion.

“Well then, he hasn’t told you shit.” Solo said, putting a hand over his face. “Of course he didn’t bring it up.” He said, quieter.

“Excuse me?” Hux asked, growing impatient.

“Ask him about Anakin.” Solo looked up at him, “I get it. It’s hard for him to talk about. It’s hard on all of us. His mother and I know the basics of what happened, but we want to know the story. His version of it all. I need closure. The last time his mother and I had a chance to know what happened, he ran away to that fucking group of masked clowns that gave him that terrible name. Do you understand? He’s our family. We just wanted him to come home. We still want him to be part of our family again.”

Hux watched him silently, completely out of his element. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.” He finally admitted.

“Has he told you anything about himself?” Solo growled, “Just ask him. And if he ever wants to just talk about what happened, please give him this.” It was a card, a number scrawled on it. “We need to know what happened. And we need him.” Solo added, “He’s my son. I would do anything for him.”

There was a moment that Solo looked almost vulnerable, but it was gone as he turned away and toward the door. “Tell Rey thanks for bringing me to you. Please call if you hear anything.”

He eyed Hux in a challenging sort of fashion before standing and vanishing out the door.

 _Ask him about Anakin._ It was hard to swallow, suddenly. Hux glanced at Rey’s still closed office door. Internally he cursed. _There was always something off about all of this. There was always something about Kylo that never made sense._

_(8:02 AM) Are you still home? You haven’t left?_

_(8:05 AM)_ _Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side:_ _I was doing physical therapy stuff outside. Roomie is supervising. What happened? Are you okay?_

_(8:06 AM) I don’t know yet. Can I meet you at your place?_

_(8:07 AM)_ _Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side:_ _Yeah of course, I’m turning around._

 _(8:07 AM)_ _Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side:_ _You’re scaring me._

_(8:08 AM) Just go back to your place. Please._

_(8:08 AM)_ _Kylo Ren, Lord of the Dark Side:_ _Okay._

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and getting out of his desk. He sent an email to Rey asking her to wipe his schedule for the day and was out of his office before she could open the door. His hands shook as he put the key in the ignition.

Closure was a term that had very specific meanings. Obviously, someone had died. Solo had been looking for his son for a specific story he hadn’t been told. Kylo had run away to join the Knights of Ren rather than tell them the truth of whatever had happened. That wasn’t the actions of someone who was innocent. He’d been in legal field long enough to hear some weird disjointed stories.

This was one of the stranger ones, and one that included the guy he had been falling hard for. Who was he fucking kidding, the person he _has_ fallen hard for. Of course. It could never be that easy. _Romantic cliché_ , Henry had said.

He parked, not even remembering the drive to Kylo’s house as he got out and headed up to Kylo’s flat. His roommate sat outside on the porch, quietly reading a book. “You two okay?” He asked, glancing up at Hux as he approached. “Ben went turning back like the house was on fire. I’ve never seen anyone limp so fast. I can give you two some space if you want.” He was genuinely concerned.

“Could you?” Hux asked, feeling the hard press of the start of a headache in his skull. “Sorry Poe, I don’t mean to kick you out of your own place.”

“Hey man, I offered. It’s cool. Just put a sock on the door or something if you’re going to do the do, okay? Don’t want to ruin a good time.” He smiled, getting up and quickly patting Hux’s shoulder as he passed. He headed down the street, and Hux took a deep breath and counted to ten in his head before he knocked on the door.

Kylo opened the door almost immediately, eyes wide. “Hey.” He offered quietly, moving out of the way to let Hux in.

He looked pathetic with that stupid neck brace, and leaning on a crutch on one side. The bruising on his face and arms had faded, but he still managed to look like a kicked puppy with seemingly no effort whatsoever.

“Kylo,” Hux said as Kylo shut the door, “I like you. A lot. So I need to know if you’re a fucking murderer, and you better be honest with me.”

Kylo recoiled like Hux had slapped him, “Wait, what?” He asked, sounding half incredulous and half horrified. “Where the hell did that come from? Is this from our first text conversation? Or that comment you made last night? Because--”

“Because your father came into my fucking firm today and wouldn’t explain jack shit about the things he asked me.” Hux said angrily, “Because I don’t want to believe you’d ever do something like that. Because I _don’t_ believe you hurt anyone else, you’re so… gentle. And kind of weird in a cute way. But something that goddamn sketchy has a story behind it, and I need to know what it is.”

Kylo stared at him for a long moment, his eyes wide and lips parted in surprise. With a rough thud, his back hit the door and he slid down it to the floor, letting the crutch go to lean precariously against the wall. He put his hands to his face and held them there, curled his knees to his chest like he’d been struck, and stayed there.  

Hux frowned, “Kylo.”

“I can’t believe you’d fucking ask me that.” Kylo said, sounding distant. “And how the hell did my father even find me? What did he even ask you?”

Hux sighed loudly, “He asked me to ask you about Anakin. I told him that I thought your grandfather died before you were even born, and then he went off on some sketchy shit that included you running away from home and that they just wanted you to come back and give them closure. They miss you, they want to talk to you, whatever. So fucking forgive me if I panicked.”

Kylo looked up at him, looking more like a hollow porcelain doll than a human being. “Anakin Skywalker was my grandfather, and you’re right. He died long before I was born. He was murdered. I… no. What he’s asking…”

“Yes?” Hux asked, sharply.

“Is not about my grandfather. My mother didn’t have the best relationship with him anyway, and my father only met him in passing as far as I know. They only really got together after Grandpa Anakin died.”

“Kylo, you’re stalling.” Hux pointed out.

“I… yeah, okay. He means Anakin Solo. Who was my little brother.”

 _Not something Kylo had ever mentioned before._ “And?” Hux asked, though his tone was slightly softer.

Kylo was silent. He stared very resolutely at Hux’s slacks. Hux forced back his rising panic and irritation, kneeling down in front of Kylo. “Tell me.” He said, quietly.

“I can’t.” Kylo whispered, “Please, Hux. I can’t.”

He leaned forward, cupping Kylo’s face in his hands with his thumbs gently pressed against Kylo’s cheekbones. The mark across his face was still scarring, red and raised against his skin.“You can.” He said, looking him in the eyes. “You’re stronger than you think.”

Kylo bit his bottom lip hard, glanced away from him and then back at him. “I… do I have to do this?”

Hux wanted to say no, wanted to let Kylo just leave it at that. But at the same time, if it was something he needed to know. Something his father was willing to go to any lengths to find Kylo just to ask his boyfriend questions… it was obviously something he should know. Should question.

“Please?” He asks, instead.

Kylo’s expression crumbles, looking lost and terrified. “I. Okay. I just… Don’t interrupt me. If I stop, I won’t finish.” The words were rushed, breathless. “My parents… Our parents were out for a special date. It was back before they divorced. They divorced after Anakin died.” His voice broke, but he pushed on, “Rey came with us. We were walking, throwing snowballs sometimes just for fun because there was a lot of snow that year. It was so cold that the river and lake had frozen over.”

He brought his hands up, keeping Hux’s hands pressed to his face. “Anakin saw something, a rabbit I think. He started running after it, over the ice. And I ran after him because I knew the ice wasn’t always as solid as it looked.” Distress was creeping into his voice. “He thought it was a game, laughing when I told him to stop. When I begged him to stop.”

He closed his eyes. Hux brushed the tears off his cheeks as they fell. “There was this crack, but I kept running. Anakin fell through first, and I tried to grab him. There was a current under the ice, pulling… but I held him close to me. I thought, maybe I could get him out first. He went limp, and his face. Fuck, Hux. His _face_. He was so afraid. I tried to haul us both out of the ice and fight the current. I just… kind of tried to push him out above the ice. Maybe if he hadn’t gone limp it would have worked. I got him half out, anyway. But I blacked out.”

Hux nodded slowly, not interrupting. Kylo was silent for a good few moments. “They told me I had completely flatlined when they pulled me out from under the ice. They were able to resuscitate me. I had this… breathing machine. It hurt, but they wouldn’t pull it out until I passed the test to show I could breathe on my own. I failed it twice. It felt like it took fucking days, even though it was just a couple hours. They told me they’d tried everything, but Anakin was already dead. They couldn’t revive him. I was the last one that ever held him. The last thing he ever fucking felt was fear. Probably pain. Because of me. Because I wasn’t strong enough to save him.”

“ _No_.” Hux said, sharply. “You did everything you could. You put your own life on the line to try and save his.”

“It wasn’t good enough.” Kylo snapped, “My parents would have preferred it if it had been him. I wanted it to be him that lived. He was a good kid. I was… my parents would have been happier.”

“Fuck Kylo, really? _I’m_ glad you’re here.” Hux squeezed his hands a little, letting up as Kylo winced. “Don’t pull that self deprecating bullshit with me. If they honestly felt that way, they’re shit parents. They should be happy that one of their children survived. Okay? If nothing else, I don’t know where I would be without you.” He hadn’t meant to let that slip. He didn’t regret it when Kylo’s expression softened.

“I think about him all the time, Hux.” Kylo said softly, “I can’t tell them that the last thing I remember clearly is his face like _that_. I can’t tell them how much I hated myself for not being able to catch him and drag him back before he ever touched that lake. I can’t tell them that my brother died in my arms. I can’t tell them that I feel like everything I went through with the Knights, I deserved because my brother is dead because of me. It fucked me up.”

“And you came back from that.” Hux reminded him, “You survived it. You’re still here. And I bet you that your brother is glad that you did.”

Kylo let out a choked sob, pulling Hux closer and hugging him so tight that he could feel the strain on his ribs. He didn’t complain. He turned his face into Kylo’s hair, breathing in his scent and keeping his arms around Kylo’s thin waist.

“Thank you.” Hux mumbled into his hair. It was a gift, the truth he couldn’t tell anyone else. Given to him and him alone. He held Kylo until he stopped shaking, keeping his face in Kylo’s soft thick hair. “Just so you know… I won’t talk to your father. But if you want to, I have the number he told me to give you. They did say they wanted you home. They miss you. You don’t have to give that up, if you don’t want to.”

Kylo made a low wounded noise into his shoulder. Hux decided to just leave it at that.

“We should probably move out from in front of the door.” Hux mumbled, and Kylo made a tiny wheeze of a laugh.

“Yeah probably.” He said thickly, but made no effort to move.

Hux pulled away to get up, tugging at Kylo to stand. There’s no way he was going to try and lift Kylo alone. Fortunately Kylo seemed to realize that and pulled himself up slowly, Hux steadying him and handing him his crutch to lean on. “So.. uh. Any other emotional bombshells you want to drop on me?” Kylo asked, obviously trying for humor.

“Sure. You want to hear it?” Hux asked, glancing at Kylo to see his apprehensive look.

“Well… okay.” He said, softly. He looked like Hux had just threatened to throw him under a car, sad pout back in full force.

“I love you.” Hux muttered. It probably wasn’t the right moment, but he didn’t know if it would ever be. It felt right to say it then, after the emotional ordeal he’d just put Kylo through. And no, beyond that… it _was_ how he felt. He didn’t want to be like the bumbling idiots in the street that professed their love and were disgustingly domestic. But they were in Kylo’s house, alone.

And Kylo had that effect on him.

He jolted as Kylo turned his head to him and kissed Hux hard on the lips, pulling him into a tight hold again for a moment before he let go. “I love you too, Hux.” He said, smiling the best he could in that moment like the absolute insufferable idiot that he was.

But he was _Hux’s_ idiot. So he let himself smile too. “I kind of figured when you danced with me to Elvis Presley.”

“Mhm, and you loved it. You know, this all happened in a really unexpected way.” Kylo said, quietly. “But I really couldn’t imagine myself with anyone else, ever.” He sat on the edge of his bed, pulling Hux closer and down onto his lap.

Hux adjusted, trying to keep weight off of the bruised points in Kylo’s injured leg.

“I think that’s what the point of saying that I love you was.” Hux snorted, “I feel the same.”

“I just hope that you don’t walk away, because of all of this. Because of what I’ve done. Who I am.” Kylo says softly, to the ceiling above their heads.

“I’m still here aren’t I? I’ve heard it all now, right?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Kylo says, but still sounds apprehensive.

“I don’t plan on leaving. Beside that, someone has to keep you in check, right?” Hux sits up, leaning over Kylo’s chest to smirk at him.

Kylo gives him a small little smile. “Good luck with that.”

“I’ll need it.” Hux says, although he’s beginning to think that maybe he won’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to explain, in EU (which now isn't canon of course) Leia and Han had three kids. Jacen, Jaina and Anakin. I couldn't stop thinking about if Kylo'd be different if he'd had a little brother, and so I kind of borrowed from EU in that aspect. I hope it isn't left-field for a lot of people who haven't read it.   
> Anyway, I'm still getting to comments and everything (I've had a really long past couple of weeks) so please bear with me while I get to everyone. ;__;


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